Aftermath
by CrabRabbit
Summary: Bro and Dave dealing with life after Sburb. The game ends and Dave basically freaks out because the real world is alot different from a meteor. Trigger warnings; Panic attacks, strong language, more tags inside.
1. Arrival

Au where Bro isn't an abusive asshole.  
Trigger warnings; Panic attacks, blood mention, strong language.  
This is unedited, please review!

* * *

Karkat opened the door and you were back on the roof of your apartment. It happened that fast. At one moment you were yelling to him, asking him why he was in such a hurry. You were covered in blood and cuts, running after him and away from the pile of your recently killed friends. The two of you were the only ones left. John and Jade died, Rose died, all of the trolls died. All of the alpha kids, the dancestors, every single person died. It was just the two knights standing among their dead companions. You continued to frantically question him, trailing close behind him. He responded saying there was no time to explain and threw the door open as soon as he could reach it. Everything was white and quiet and then you felt warmth.

You open your eyes and are on roof of your apartment in Texas. Your breath catches in your throat as you look around. Is this a dream? This can't be happening. Can it? You're still in your god tier, but the blood and injuries once covering you are gone. You have your shades again, they had been broken during the final battle so you didn't know what to expect. Other than you it looks like nothing had changed. While you continue to survey your surroundings your eye catches a bit of movement. You look that way and what you see makes your breath hitch again.

Bro.

Bro is standing right there, just a bit away from you. From what you can tell he looks relieved- really fucking relieved. A light smile is on his face that you've never seen before. Everything in your mind is telling you that this is not real. This is to good to be true. You've had countless dreams like this, of Bro coming back and everything going back to the way it was. But those dreams always ended and you woke up on the meteor in your drab grey room once again.

But man, it's really fucking warm.

Somehow this doesn't seem like a dream. You don't feel like you're going to wake up as soon as you start to approach him. So you take a chance, because you'll never know if you don't try. With shaky legs and an uneven breath you start to walk forward. With every step you become more and more confused. There is one thing on your mind in this moment; you aren't waking up. You feel weird as hell but you aren't waking up. You're right in front of him and you aren't. waking. up.

You reach out to his chest and lightly press your fingertips to where it was pierced the last time you saw him. Nothing happens. You step alittle closer and it feels like you're not in full control of your body. Like you're on autopilot, not entirely aware of what you're actually doing. Your other hand goes to his chest and again, nothing happens. It's just his chest, whole and unharmed. Both of your hands are now covering his heart, as if to protect it from an unseen threat.

You jump slightly when you feel him put his arms around you. It's a light embrace, just enough to know he's there without feeling trapped. You don't feel trapped though. Everything seems to be a bit too much. Somewhat too big. Like you're tiny while the whole world is huge. The meteor was cold, dark and silent all the time. So now the combination of the Texan heat, the inner city sounds and bright sun was alittle much for you. Your fingers move to fists, holding the fabric of his shirt in your hands. You're conflicted, your want this to be real. You really, really do. You want to believe this isn't a dream but you can't. Part of you thought that you would never win the game, it thought you would die in the veil on a desolate depressing meteor with Rose and a few trolls. That part of you was apparently alot larger than you had previously expected.

"Is this a dream?" You mumble. It's not exactly the coolest thing you could have said at this moment, but nothing else came to mind. Because you don't know, you don't know if this is a dream or not and you need some sort of confirmation.

"No, lil man. It's not a dream." He holds you a bit tighter.

When you hear this you realize how short your breaths have become. You're hardly breathing, just taking in short gasps of air while you try to process the situation. You are here, he is here, you are on earth and you can't breathe. Somehow he senses your panic and makes you follow him. He pulls you into the apartment corridor and you hear the murmurs of people talking around you. It is dark and bland but not like the meteor. Instead of the echos to your footsteps you hear the barking of a dog. Instead of gleaming metal walls there are signs of wear on the cream concrete. Instead of empty these hallways feel full. Full of life and it's too much. Everything is happening too fast and this is all getting way too hot to handle.

You hear the rustle of keys when he lets go of your hand. Your surroundings seem so superficial, so fake. Your whole world has been re-arranged and replaced. Made into a copy of the real thing but still...something isn't quite right. You're staring at nothing in particular when Bro pulls you into the apartment and shuts the door. When he turns on the light you freeze. The apartment is just like how you remember it. It's a puppet ridden mess, just the way it was before any of the madness started.

Your whole body goes rigid because all of this is foreign to you. You're still leaning towards none of this being real. So you just stop and Bro looks at you, like really looks. His eyebrows tilt up in an unspoken question. It's so unlike him that it makes you shut down. You officially have 0 control over your body or mind. You back against the door and slide down. Once you hit the floor you hide your face in your knees and continue to gasp for air.

* * *

Your name is Bro Strider and your lil bro is freaking out. bad. You thought bringing him back to the apartment would help. Maybe bring some sense of normalcy or something. You don't really know, you've never done anything like this before. But as Dave curls in on himself and struggles to breathe you realize that maybe you need to kick it into high gear. Act like an actual guardian for once in your life. The kids been through hell and back, so this reaction is probably normal.

You hope…

You sit down next to Dave and pull him into an awkward side embrace. This whole being a good guardian thing is going great so far. Being affectionate doesn't really fit hand in hand with being a Strider so you're really at a loss on what you should do. You just kinda...hold him. Hold him and wait for something to come to mind. You're so busy trying to think of ways to remedy the situation you hardly realize when Dave lifts his head and latches on to you. He wraps his arms around your neck and holds onto you like you're the last living being alive. Like you're the only thing keeping him grounded.

Becoming more sure of yourself, you put your arms around him and hold him close. He shakes and you can feel his uneven breath on your skin. Your stomach does this weird flip when you feel tears fall onto your neck. You want to help Dave, you feel a parental protectiveness that you haven't felt since he was a small child. You think back to when Dave would become upset in the past. It didn't happen often, and when it did he hid from you, so you don't have anything to work with. Instead you try and copy what good parents do in movies. You rub his back in small, soft circles as he cries.

"C'mon lil man, it's gonna be okay." You try to sooth him the best you can. Speaking hardly even a whisper, "We're both here, we're safe. There's nothing to worry about. Not anymore." Your hand runs through his hair as he clings to you tighter. "Everything is fine now. It's gonna be okay Dave."

Eventually Dave calms, he's still obviously shaken but no longer crying. The both of you sit, trying to calm your racing minds. You notice his breath become more and more even as he falls into a light sleep. You were tempted to put him in his bed but decided against it. You had to be here for your brother, and him waking up alone was not part of that. He would need all the help you could provide.

* * *

Dying fucked you up, you can admit that. When you woke up in your isolated dream bubble you were pissed. Pissed for a few reasons in particular. 1. You were pissed at the stupid black dog that killed you. 2. You were pissed that you had let the stupid black dog kill you. 3. You were pissed you let the stupid dog thing kill you in front of Dave. You always fought to seem like an unmovable force, to hopefully give Dave something strong to look up to. So dying in front of him created a huge hole in that image.

During your time in the dream bubble you came to terms with your death. It had taken some time, and for awhile you felt hopeless, alone and very un-Striderly. But in time you picked yourself up and got over it. You started to think of the brighter side to the situation. It seemed like you were still in the game. You didn't really know if that was a good or bad thing but at least you were still somewhat alive. You would just have to hope you trained the lil man well enough to beat this godforsaken game.

Dave, however. He did not have time to come to terms with his brother's death. The three years sitting on the meteor did nothing but let him marinade in the guilt of letting his brother die. He didn't grieve like a normal human would. He just shoved it to the back of his mind and acted like nothing was bothering him. Because that's what he thought a Strider would probably do. Nobody noticed, he thought Rose could tell for awhile but once she started drinking she was as oblivious as everyone else.

They all thought Dave was just as chill as he presented himself to be. But sometimes, while he sat alone in his room, he couldn't stop thinking about the blood that pooled around Bro as he bled out. He couldn't turn his mind away from the sadness, the loneliness, of knowing his brother was gone. He was dead and seemingly never coming back. And those were the nights where his breath became short and tears fell from his eyes against his will. It was only then that it could be seen how raw the wound of his brothers death was for the broken knight.

* * *

You wake up confused, extremely confused. You still have your eyes closed but you can feel someone carding their fingers through your hair lightly. When you shift the arms around you tighten and a soft 'shhh' is whispered into your ear. You settle again, breathing in the scent of cheap cologne and hairspray. Faintly you think it reminds you of Bro. Then you remember the events from the last few hours.

Bro is holding you, murmuring things you can't quite make out. All of it is very soothing though. You didn't know Bro could be so caring, so gentle. You don't question it. You just let it happen, taking in all the attention because you want it. You want to be loved and held, you want it so badly. You couldn't bring yourself to ask for any of it though. No, that would leave you too vulnerable.

But as you sit in Bro's lap and bury your face in his chest you don't care about being vulnerable. Because Bro can protect you, he always has and always will. You don't want to worry about anything anymore and as Bro whispers that everything is fine you find yourself believing him. Everything is fine because Bro is here and you are here and you're safe in this bright and shiny new world. The world you fought so hard to protect, to take back from the dark grasp of Sburb. Everything is alright now.


	2. Departure

This is very ooc.  
Trigger warnings; panic attacks, mentioned alcohol use, strong language.  
This is unedited, please review!

* * *

You told yourself you would become a better guardian for Dave. You would become his support system, his anchor in the new world. It worked at first, you stopped bringing new people home every night, you stopped leaving for weeks without saying anything. But eventually you caved. You had just spent years in a dream bubble and you wanted to go out. You wanted to live alittle.

You still had to work, that was a given. You were back to not having enough money to support the two of you. It was easier now that Dave hardly ate anything but that still left heating, rent, internet, the whole works. You're pretty sure Dave would lose it if the internet went out for more than 10 minutes. He was always talking to his friends on the computer. So you were required to go out to the run down club every night to make a living.

The first night back to work was weird. Everyone greeted you like they had seen you yesterday. Then it hit you, from their perspective they had seen you yesterday. You remember thinking 'This is really fucked up.' As the night progressed things continued to be somewhat unsettling. You just couldn't stop thinking about how none of these people would be drunk and dancing like idiots in this shitty little bar without Dave. Without your kid who was sleeping alone in a dingy apartment. None of these people knew anything about the game or the meteors, they were blissfully ignorant. It was like the whole world was just- back.

When you got home that night you peeked your head into Dave's room. He never shuts his door, you don't exactly know why but you never ask about it. To your relief he was sleeping peacefully in his bed. It seemed as if he didn't notice your absence.

Going to work soon became routine and you needed to get out. You were just getting so restless! You started staying at the clubs alittle later. Maybe you would talk to one of the semi-attractive people who came up to you. Maybe talking would evolve into something more and before you know it the sun is up and you're not home.

So that brings you to this moment. This moment where you're standing outside your apartment in the early morning hungover as all hell. Your head pounds while you struggle to unlock the door. When you walk inside all the lights are off and it's oddly quiet. It's helps your head a bit but it puts a uneasy feeling in your stomach. You should probably check on Dave.

You find him in his room, just as you expected. He's sitting on his bed and looking out the window. He's looks lost and dejected, you wonder how long he's been awake and sitting there.

"Dave?" Your voice is gruff from your earlier bout of post-drunken heaving. You needed water but that would come later, Dave first. He looks at you and some sort of recognition flashes across his face.

"Bro…" He looks at his hands and then out the window again. His eyes shine a bit in the light and your heart feels like it's been crushed. You let him down.

"Are you okay?" You're still standing in his doorway, probably looking sick as hell. Not in a good way either. You have to hold onto the wall to keep you steady and you 100% smell like sweat and alcohol. You really are a shitty guardian.

"Yeah. I think I got confused for a minute there. But it's alright now." You're not too sure what that means, but you don't think it's good. What did he get confused about?

"Are you sure?" It's obvious Dave doesn't want to talk but you ask anyways.

"I'm cool now, don't worry about it." His voice is so small while he refuses to meet your eyes. You fucked up. You know you fucked up.

"Dave…"

"I'm going to sleep. G'night Bro." And with that he burrows into his pile of blankets and pillows. After a few minutes, once you know he's asleep, you leave. You stumble to your room to nurse your hangover and drown in a pool of guilt.

* * *

Alot of things have changed. Some parts of the world are just different now. You can't explain it, but you're sure this is not the world you left behind. John, Jade, and Rose agree with you. They think that something is just alittle off, but it really only seems to affect you four. Bro is settling back into life, Dadbert and Rose's mom have apparently done the same. But you just can't help the feeling that you don't belong.

You still have your god tier powers. You're not sure how or why, but you do. You promised yourself you wouldn't use them. Nobody needs another dead Dave, especially you. It turns out you're the only one with god tier still, probably because you didn't die in the last battle. The logic of the game still confuses you. But now you're the only one who has god tier and you don't know what that means about your mortality. You try not to think about it, it makes you anxious.

Bro has been around alot lately, he seems to be worried about you. You think it should bother you but it doesn't. You like it more than you're willing to admit. The fact that he's paying attention to you makes you so happy it's shameful. You try not to be too clingy, because if you're too clingy he'll probably get annoyed with you.

But it's so hard! It's so hard not to cling to him and make sure he's there. That he's alive and this isn't some fucked up long ass dream. A lot of the time you forget he's back, probably because you use to hammer the idea that he was gone into your head. And when you see him it's makes you realize he really is here and it gets to be too much again.

You're overwhelmed alot.

You wake up from an uneasy rest at 3:41 AM. Like any other night you get up to see if Bro is back from work. He usually gets home and looks into your room at about 1 AM. He doesn't know it wakes you up but you don't care, knowing he's home gives you a sense of security.

You look into his room and find it empty. You begin to search the apartment, looking in the bathroom and living room in hopes of locating him. The longer you look the less things make sense. You're starting to think maybe Bro left you.

He wouldn't do that though. He loves you. Right? He does, at least you think so. You go back to your room and sit on the bed. Your mind goes fuzzy as you listen to the sounds of the city. The honking of horns and police sirens fill the space and you lose yourself in it. You think maybe Bro was never here in the first place. Your mind was just playing some sick joke on you and now it's over.

You're alone in this new world and Bro is dead. Your bro is dead, never coming back because Jack Noir put a shitty sword through his chest. You don't want to be alone. You can't do this alone.

You panic for a good while, not quite able to stop. Sitting on your bed you shutter and cry, trying to convince yourself that everything is fine. Everything will be alright. After you've regained control of yourself you stare out the window again. It's 5 AM, the birds are chirping and the sun is rising. Then you hear the front door open and close.

You're confused again. Who would be coming into your apartment? You should probably be flipping out but you can't bring yourself to care. After a few moments Bro appears in your door frame. He says your name and you realize he's here. Bro is alive and back and you're not alone. You're pretty sure in the midst of your thinking you say his name. He asks if you're alright. You weren't before but you are now.

"Yeah. I think I got confused for a minute there. But it's alright now." You know he doesn't understand you. You just don't think you can explain that you thought he had left you and/or was never here in the first place. He looks guilty enough as it is.

"Are you alright?" See, this is what's weird about new Bro. He acts like he cares, he really does. He makes sure you're actually fine before he leaves. You're not too sure what to make of it.

"I'm cool now, don't worry about it." You say this as you stare at the floor. You aren't being convincing at all.

"Dave…" He sounds so concerned. You feel bad for making worry about you. It was really a dumb reason to wig out and have a panic attack but you couldn't help it. You have some serious attachment issues.

"I'm going to sleep. G'night Bro." You're tired but you also want him to stop asking questions. You climb back into bed, closing your eyes. You drift off peacefully knowing Bro won't leave you until you're fully asleep. Bro won't leave you.


	3. Nightmare

I'm really bad at keeping this fic in present tense, whatever.  
Trigger warnings; nightmares, panic attacks, mentioned drug/alcohol use, strong language.  
This is unedited, please review!

* * *

Dave has been having nightmares. Not the kind everyone gets from time to time, they leave him with anxiety attacks in the early morning. It's to be expected, he has some painful memories in his little blonde head. You didn't realize it was happening at first, for the first few weeks he didn't show any signs of not sleeping. You see him pretty regularly, but he still shuts himself away a lot. He usually sits in his room making music, talking to his friends and staring out the window. He comes out to eat and watch shows on Netflix with you somewhat often, but that's about it.

You've listened to some of his music and you have to admit, it's better than yours. A lot better. You downloaded this illegal computer hacking thing from the internet to peek into Dave's files. It felt highly invasive but you wanted to see what he was up to and you can't exactly go on his computer physically. You didn't find anything interesting until you came across his music files. He had hundreds of songs all made by him.

There were five main folders organizing the files, they were named before, lohac, ship, meteor and after. You looked in the before folder first, in it was songs you recognized. The songs he created before the game. They sounded similar to your stuff, which isn't surprising. You're pretty sure at that time of his life he wasn't as excited by music as he presented so he copied you. Next was lohac, these songs were heavy and full of action. You quite liked the things in this folder. It seemed like tracks you would actually make and enjoy instead of the kid emulating you.

The folder called ship had a word document in it named davesprite along with the music files. The document read, 'this is a collection of davesprites work that i found. it was actually kind of hard to scavenge these out of the game files. it feels wrong to claim it as my own. i don't know. its just all the things i remember from davesprite are off and hard to relate to like i know im the doomed daves but i dont feel like im davesprite. he was technically older than me and he went through alot of hard shit that i didnt technically experience and while i have his memories i dont understand the game as well as a sprite would so really i have no idea what it was like to be him because i wasnt an orange sprite dave with wings and no matter how many memories i have from him i dont think i can say we were the same person.'

You stared at that document for awhile, trying to figure out what you just read. You still have no goddamn idea what it means but you came up with some ideas. Listening to a few songs you could tell they were different from the rest of Dave's work, but it wasn't obvious. The changes were subtle and if you weren't looking for it you would have never noticed. But you did note there were alot more hyper robotic type noises. You're not actually sure what half of the sounds were originally.

When you opened the folder named meteor your eyes widened. Inside was about 20 sub folders named seemingly random things. In total there were over 200 mp3 files and 50 word documents. The songs were beautiful, absolutely amazing. They all had the same samples in them, probably due to lack of proper equipment, but every song felt different from the rest. Overall the songs were melodic and sad. They conveyed a feeling of empty loneliness, of isolation and longing. They were devoid of the raps the songs in the other folders had. The raps he wrote were now stored away in the various word documents scattered about the folder. The raps weren't exactly raps anymore, but extremely eloquent and moving poetry. You spent hours clicking through files and listening to different tracks. There was a song named Bro that you couldn't bring yourself to listen to. It seemed too morbid at the time.

As you copied the files onto your computer you looked in the folder named after. There was only one file and it wasn't even a song. It was a 30 second sample of a bird singing. The quality was so sharp that you were sure the bird had to have been very close to Dave when he recorded it. Right before the audio ended you could hear a light chuckle and a bird chirp in response. You check the after folder periodically, but he hasn't finished a song. There are only unfinished tracks or samples of things someone might think as normal. Like the inner city sounds or the barking of a dog. The majority of the files were bird songs though. Sometimes, here or there, you could hear a very distinct little chirp that wasn't the bird, you have a theory that it's Dave talking to his little avian buddies.

But, back to the nightmares. It eventually became clear that he wasn't sleeping when he would fall asleep in random locations. He would pass out on the couch when you were watching tv, he would doze off while you ate dinner together. Overall he became more and more lethargic. It became painfully evident when he fell asleep during The Lord of the Rings. His shades slipped off his face and there were dark bruises under his eyes. You hadn't known it was that bad.

After awhile he started crawling into your bed at night. You didn't notice he was doing it at first. You've always been a pretty heavy sleeper but you eventually caught on. One night as you were on the cusp of sleep you heard him creep in. He walked silently, the only sound being the creek of the floor under his feet. You pretended to be asleep, wanting to see what he'd do.

You heard him take a few deep breaths before laying on the other side of the bed. He wasn't anywhere close to you at first. After about 30 minutes he shifted closer and touched your chest lightly. It was hardly noticeable, you would never feel it in your sleep. All of you wanted to hug and comfort him but you didn't think letting him know you were awake was an option. That would probably make him uncomfortable. You had a feeling this type of thing might be a regular occurrence, and if it is you don't want him to feel like he needs to stop. If it makes him feel better that's all that matters. Another 30 minutes pass and he shifts closer to you again. He's rested his palm on your chest and you can feel his shuddering breaths on your arm. You really wish you could do something to help him but you don't know how. All you can do is be there for him and hope it's enough.

* * *

You come home fucked up again. At least it's before 3 AM. You climb up the stairs, struggle with the keys and stumble into the living room like every other night. But tonight you aren't just drunk. You stupidly took something one of your old friends gave you. He said you haven't been acting like your normal self lately and thought you needed to take the edge off. You decided to take it, for old times sake, because why the hell not.

You peek into Dave's room and see he's tucked into his nest of blankets. He sleeps in a pile of pillows, blankets, and other miscellaneous soft things. Over time he took all the pillows and blankets from the living room, but he didn't stop there. Most of his clothes are shoved on his bed and you swear you've seen one or two of your own shirts in the mess. The thing you found the most surprising was the smuppet in his little nest. You 100% saw the red plush rump with your own two shaded eyes. You're pretty sure it's a remnant of bird Dave.

You go to the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror. You're a mess. Your hair is sticking out every which way from beneath your hat and when you take off your shades your pupils take up most of your orange iris. You look really fucked up. Knowing you won't be able to sleep you go into the living room and turn on the tv at a very low volume. You're not exactly paying attention so you don't register when Dave peers out from behind the corner. Eventually he walks over to you, wrapped in one of the heavier blankets from around the apartment. You look up at him and smile. He's not wearing his shades.

"Hey lil man, sit." You pat the seat next to you eagerly. He obligingly sits and you wrap an arm around him. Apparently you've forgotten all about personal boundaries in your delirious state. He flinches but doesn't shy away, "Did I wake ya? I was tryin' to be all quiet. You need your beauty sleep after all." You laugh under your breath, unable to control yourself.

"TV woke me up." Damn, you really tried to be quiet. You didn't think the tv was on too loud either. You probably don't have a very good grasp on your surroundings right now.

"Sorry kid, I tried not ta be loud." You ruffle his hair and lean back into the couch further. The television has some MTV dating show on that's equal parts idiotic and mind numbing. In time Dave relaxes and leans against you, wrapping the blanket tighter around himself. "Heh, Davey. What if I had one a' these shows?" He snickers slightly as you play with his hair, a shit eating grin on your face. "Eb- everyone would be in it for the fine Strider booty. The views would be flyin' off the handle. Man, I can see it now."

You continue, your speech slurring a bit. "They'd be required to sleep in giant ass smuppets and dress in sa- in scandalous, revealing outfits. All the damn time. 24/7. I would make em do the dumbest little competitions and watch em fight for me like... like goddamn animals or some shit. Fucking obstacle courses and those, uh, those army work out things. Where you have ta climb walls and run through those tires. While they're wearin' real skimpy army uniforms. Yeah. It would be like tha ba- the biggest ego trip ever. But my show...now my show would be different lil man, you know? Instead a' only hot babes there would also be sexy dudes up in there. Eye candy combo x2. I want the full fuckin' course, I'll have my damn cake and I will eat that shit too. We don't discriminate here in the Strider household. No sir'ee."

He giggles again and leans against your shoulder, closing his eyes. "What would happen once the show ends? Once you claim your prize?"

"Well I… I think you know the answer to that one already kid." You rest your cheek against the top of his head for a moment, trying to focus your mind enough to form a coherent thought. "I would stick with it for awhile, a mu- month tops. Then I would let em go, like a catch and release fish. There's no way I could deal with anybody for more than a few weeks. They would mess up the routine, break the feng shui or some shit."

"I don't think you know how feng shui works Bro." His voice is about as slurred as yours, he's falling asleep.

"Aww, that hurt. I am tah- to-, uh. I'm totally knowledgeable in all things regardin' furniture arrangement and feng shui. I mean, have you ever seen the apartment? The flow of this place is like...like a fuckin'," You lost your train of thought. You completely forgot what you were about to say. You were doing so well, you weren't even stumbling over your words. Well, maybe alittle. Alot. Whatever. Thankfully Dave didn't seem to hear your little slip up. He's sound asleep, tucked against your side comfortably. You shut up and let your mind wander off into a drug induced state of nothingness.

You're staring at the iridescent waves on the wall that aren't actually there when Dave jumps and wakes up gasping for air. You pull him close as he continues to shiver and shake, taking in choked breaths. His face in your neck as he cries from the leftover panic of his dream. You've become pretty good at calming Dave down. After trial and error you've figured out what helps, what doesn't, and what makes it worse. It was hard at first, nothing seemed to make a difference but by now you have a pretty good method ironed out.

He sits in your lap, which should probably be hard and alittle awkward with a 16 year old boy, but it isn't. He's so skinny now, so light that it's easy for you to tuck him under your chin and hold him tight. You'd think he would have built muscle during the years in the game but the opposite happened. Dave said something about not having enough resources for regular meals on the meteor. You still don't know what he means by 'the meteor'. Sometimes you think about him and his friends, a few undernourished teenagers, fighting the final bosses of that game. It must have been hell, absolute hell.

As your hand skims over his jagged ribs you can't help but marvel at how lucky you are. How lucky it is that your lil man beat the game and is here with you. And even though it's wrong, you can't help but feel like Dave is a sacred being. Something different from everyone else, something more. And in the depths of night when you ponder this you think of Dave as a fallen angel. An angel whose wings were ripped from his back and pushed down to earth only to find himself unable to deal with the changes.

So you don't care that this situation considered alittle weird, because he's Dave. And Dave deserves everything, he deserves to feel happy and loved. He deserves to enjoy the new world just as much as the people he saved. He has sacrificed so much, so fucking much. You just want to help him pick up the pieces and put his life back together. Even if you have to build from the ground up. Even if you have to mix the cement and build the foundation by hand. Brick by fucking brick. No matter what, you'll always be here for Dave.


	4. Guest

I'm a horrible person.  
Trigger warnings; animal death, mentioned drug/alcohol use, strong language.  
This is unedited, please review!

* * *

You were about to go home when you saw your friend sitting outside of the club. He was known for being a homeless drug addict and alcoholic so this wasn't a surprising sight. You were about to leave him when you heard thunder boom from overhead. A few raindrops fell into your hat and you sighed. Maybe you would be a good person to someone other than Dave.

"Carl. Can you stand up? You can stay at my place tonight if you promise not to steal or break my shit." You kick him, trying to get his attention. He looks up to you with glassy red eyes.

"Ah man, Dirk, this is rare. You bein' nice for once? What did I do to deserve such special treatment from a Strider."

"I told you not to call me that. Get the fuck off the ground before I change my mind." Maybe if you walk away now he wouldn't be able to catch up with you.

"Okay, okay. Gimme a minute I'm waiting for someone. I can't leave this dude hanging"

"No. I'm not waiting here for your drug dealer. I have to get home to my lil bro. It's either your heroin or not getting rained on all night. Make a choice and make it snappy."

"I take back what I said about you bein' nice. You're still an ass." He picks himself off the ground and follows you. He can't walk in a straight line and smells like literal shit. You're going to make him shower before he can sleep on the futon.

"Wow, stop the fucking presses. You've made the discovery of the century. I can see the headlines now, 'Bro Strider is still an insufferable prick.' The whole world will worship you for figuring out one of the humanities greatest mysteries." You get to the car and both of you climb in.

"Can you be any more sarcastic?"

"Shut up and listen. Get your head out of your drunk ass and actually pay attention to what I'm saying for the next 5 minutes. Or will that be too difficult for you? If so you can just tuck and roll out the damn car. "

"I'm listening. And for the record you're just as drunk as me right now."

"But unlike you I'm not on various painkillers and I can handle my shit." You exhale and try to calm down, he's already annoying you. "I'm going to lay down some ground rules for my apartment. Get some paper out, take notes, because if you break even one of these rules I will wreck your shit. First and foremost, don't talk to my lil bro. Don't look at him, don't get near him, don't even fucking think about him. He is off limits to whatever dumb schemes you think of. Do you understand rule one?"

"Yeah dude, crystal clear. Don't fuck with your brother. I didn't even know you have a brother."

"That's because you don't need to know about my personal life. Rule two, don't touch my shit. Like, any of it, not even my food. I'm not the wealthiest man around and I need all the necessities I can get my hands on. And for the love of god, don't steal my medications. All I have is tylenol and sleeping pills so it's of no use to you anyways. You'll just look more desperate than you already are." You look over and Carl is straight up staring at you now. At least you have his attention.

"Rule three, don't go in any of the rooms except the bathroom. Those are my and my lil bro's rooms and you have no right peeking in them. Rule four, this is the most important other than rule one. Don't tell ANYBODY about ANYTHING regarding my apartment, my life, or the shit you might see or experience while you're sleeping in my living room. Does your stupid little mind get what I'm saying to you?" You're at a stoplight and looking at him, right in the eyes. He looks really intimidated. Maybe he's starting to regret coming with you.

"Oh my god, I understand. You're bein' really demanding." He turns his attention to the street and props his feet on your dashboard.

"Yes, I am. I'm demanding that you don't fuck something up majorly. And get your muddy shoes off my car." You pull into the apartment parking lot and get out of the car. You really hope this doesn't turn out badly. You walk up the stairs together, Carl falling a few times due to the rain puddles. You unlock the door and cringe when he starts talking, loud.

"Oh man, this is exactly what I was expecting! This place is so chill, why don't you bring people over more often?" He took off his shoes, at least he has a thread of common decency. Now he's wandering the living room, inspecting all of the posters and swords.

"Carl. Shut up and be quiet. It's like 2 AM. You smell like shit, follow me." He looks slightly embarrassed when you say this and follows you. "This is the bathroom. You are going to take a shower so my futon doesn't smell like a wet dog for weeks. Let me get you a towel and a change of clothes." He stands next to the bathroom and waits for you. You catch him glance at Dave's open door but quickly looks away. You scavenge some old clothes that you never wear anymore and a clean towel. Shoving the bundle of fabric into his arms you tell him to shower.

Next, you get Dave. There is no way you're letting him sleep alone with a sketchy homeless man in the apartment. You look into his room and find him sitting on his bed with a confused expression. "Hey kid, I'm letting one of my old friends stay in the living room for the night. Do you want to chill in my room until he leaves? We can watch Netlix on my computer." He agrees, "Let's get you there before he gets out of the shower. I don't want him to see you." You help him out of his bed and lead him to your room. As soon as your door is shut you hear the shower turn off. What good timing.

You're standing in the kitchen when Carl walks into the living room again. He staring at you awkwardly with a handful of his dirty clothes. He clears his throat and averts his eyes, "Thanks man. I appreciate this. Where should I put these?"

"Uh, okay. Just go put them in the shower. When you're done with that you can sleep on the futon. You're going to have to deal with no blankets or pillows, they're all being used. And for the love of christ, remember the rules we talked about in the car." You walk past him and enter your room.

* * *

Your name is Carl and you're confused as heck. You're standing in the Strider apartment. You don't think anybody but people he's slept with have ever been here. To be honest, you're getting kinda nervous. He could rip you in two rather easily if you do anything that might piss him off. You go back to the bathroom to put your clothes in the shower and can't help but overhear a conversation. It's hushed but you can still figure out what's being said.

"Hey lil' dude, what do you want to watch?"

"I don't care. Why'd you let your friend stay here? You would never have done that before everything happened."

"I'm not too sure, maybe all that bullshit made me go soft." You hear a chuckle and the theme song of a show you don't know start playing. "Do you think I've gone soft kid?"

"No. Some things are just different now."

"Mmm, I guess so. Lets watch this, alright?"

Now you're pretty sure you're breaking rule one. You're thinking about Strider's brother. You really didn't know he even had a brother up until now. He's never mentioned or talked about him before. You're getting really curious. The story keeps building on itself and you just NEED to know. You stand in the bathroom, seeing if they'll say anything else. All you can hear is an occasional small laugh.

Eventually, you get bored and go into the living room. You try to sleep, you really do. But nothing comes of your efforts. You decide to explore the apartment further. You figure both of them are already asleep, so they'll never know. First, you finish your examination of the living room. Yep, everything in it seems very Strider-y to you. There are some weird ass puppets scattered about, a bunch of records, movies, and as mentioned before, swords. In the kitchen wasn't much, only a few boxes of cereal, some bread, and freezer food. You decided not to take any, he really did need all the necessities he could get.

You figure looking in the kids room would be next, but you hesitate. Maybe this is a bad idea. Strider is very scary on his good days. You were about to turn around but you heard something from behind the door. A few minutes passed and you heard it again. It sounded like the caw of a bird. Naturally, you open the door. Because that's what normal people do when birds are in a room. When it flies in your face you realize that might have been a stupid idea. You eventually grab the bird, maybe alittle too harshly because it stops moving entirely. When you look up and you're face to face with an angry Dirk, otherwize known as Bro, Strider.

"Shit…"

* * *

You're listening to the idiot you let stay in your house rummage through your stuff. You decided you wouldn't sleep until he left, just to make sure something bad doesn't happen. But when you hear him open Dave's door you get up immediately. He's gone too far. You enter the other room to see him holding something black and feathery. Black and feathery and dead. You really, really hope that isn't what you think it is.

"Carl, what the actual fuck are you doing?" Before he can answer you see Dave peer out from the door. When he looks at Carl's hands he pales and shuffles out of the room to stand behind you.

"Is that a bird?" Dave sounds completely normal, which worries you.

"Uh...yeah," Carl replies.

"Can I see it?" You look at him and then to Carl. Daves obviously not going to get any closer so you move to get the bird for him. Carl starts to back away, probably due to being scared shitless, but stops when you lift an eyebrow. Apprehensively he hands the limp creature to you and leaves. Without his shoes or other clothes, he just absconds. You'll deal with him later. You bring the animal to Dave, laying it gently in his hands.

From what you can see it's a small juvenile crow, he moves it so the left wing is visible and deflates. There is a neatly made cast covering half of the wing. "Oh…" He sounds utterly heartbroken when he brings the bird to his chest. "I thought…" His voice breaks and tears slide from beneath his shades. This situation is horrible. You hug him, careful not to squish the bird in his hands. You really thought he would stop talking but he continues.

"I saw this little crow slam into the windows of the lower apartments. I thought it had died but then I saw it get up and hop around." He takes in a large breath, "I realized it couldn't fly because it fucked up it's wing so I went and got it."

"You went to the street?" You can't help but be surprised. He hasn't left the apartment at all. He goes and sits on the roof from time to time but he has spent zero time with the general population.

"I didn't like it. At all. But I got the bird and brought it up to my room. I thought fixing it's wing would be just like fixing Davesprite's wing. It was working pretty well actually."

"Is Davesprite the bird Dave?"

"The one and only. He was a doomed Dave prototyped into a crow sprite. Part Dave, part crow, part game component. I don't know, I guess I thought by helping this crow I would be like...doing something for Davesprite? It sounds dumb when I say it like that…"

You have no idea how to approach this. You're completely lost, but you try anyways. "No, Dave, it's not dumb. It's not dumb at all. You were helping the little bird and you were helping bird Dave. You were doing a good thing." He sighs and nods, "Do you want to put it in one of those creepy jars you have?" He nods again, "Alright. I'm sorry I let this happen. It's my fault for letting a weird drug addict stay here."

"You were doing a good thing too." Dave murmurs softly.

"And it ended up biting me in the ass. Let's preserve your birdy pal."

"Okay."


	5. Missing

This story is a mess why do you guys even read it?  
Trigger warnings; A whole lot of alcohol use, panic attacks, drug/kidnapping (this sounds alot worse than what actually happens), and strong language.  
This is (very) unedited, please review!

* * *

It's been 2 days, 9 hours and 34 minutes since Bro left for work. He said goodbye, tussled your hair and promised he would be home soon. You stayed up that night, watching out your window waiting for his car to skid back into the parking lot, but his car never came. At first you thought he was just running late. Maybe he had alittle bit too much to drink or he got caught up in a conversation. He would come stumbling in the apartment anytime now. You kept telling yourself that through the day. But when the clock read 3 in the afternoon and he still hadn't come home you started to worry.

You use to be scared of things that mattered, of things that could actually hurt you. Like someone in the session dying, running out of supplies, or god forbid Lord English showing up and killing everyone. But you weren't alone in these fears, you cowered on the dark meteor along with Rose and the trolls. Being together in suffering somehow made it alittle more bearable. But now all you think about is if Bro is going to leave you. Your terror switched from the fear of death to fear of being alone. Because now you're in Texas, without your friends, and the only thing recognizable in your new setting is Bro.

Your biggest fear is that he's going to go back to how he was before the game. He'll suddenly stop caring and realize that you're not worth his time. To be honest you're surprised it hasn't happened already. But when you think back to the the impromptu strifes, the seemingly random traps and complete lack of social interaction, you're thankful it hasn't. You're 100% sure you wouldn't be able to deal with that.

To be honest you're starting to flip your shit, he's never been gone this long. Usually if he was going to be really late he would text you. It's beyond that point now, you're not sure if he's going to come back. You feel the beginning of a panic attack so you do the only thing you can think of.

Dave: pester Rose. (I'm going to be _italicizing Rose's text_ because you can't color text on this website.)

TG: rose  
 _TT: Good afternoon Dave, how are you?_  
TG: ok I guess  
 _TT: You guess?_  
 _TT: That's not very convincing._  
TG: its just  
TG: bro still isnt home  
TG: its freaking me out  
TG: or im freaking out  
TG: both  
TG: im freaking out  
 _TT: Your brother will arrive home soon, and I assure you he will feel just as bad about this situation as you do._  
TG: ok yeah but what if that doesnt happen  
TG: you saying that and me believing it are two very different thing  
 _TT: Your brother has been acting somewhat normally for a man in his early 30s, correct?_  
 _TT: Post-game, obviously._  
TG: yeah  
TG: i guess  
 _TT: Then I find it highly unlikely that he's going to randomly change his mind._  
TG: rose you dont get it  
TG: he became really fucking nice all of a sudden  
TG: literally a complete 180 here  
TG: so whats stopping him from just switching back  
 _TT: That's not going to happen, it's going to be fine._  
 _TT: Why don't you go to sleep? You've been online for 18 hours straight. Your brother will be home when you wake up, I promise._  
TG: fucking fine  
TG: goodnight  
 _TT: Goodnight Dave, sleep well._  
TG: thats a good joke lalonde haha keep em comin  
 _TT: ..._  
TG: ...sorry  
 _TT: It's fine, I promise your brother will be home soon._  
TG: thanks

The clock keeps ticking away, your internal stopwatch counting every single second. With every tick brings more uncertainty. You really hope he hasn't left you but you have a feeling he has. You're almost 99% sure he's not going to come back. You want to tell yourself that you're overreacting but you can't. It's just been so long!

A person of your age should be able to deal with their brother leaving for 2 days, right? You just have to suck it up and push through. You'll have to stop holding him down eventually, so why don't you start now? You decide to follow Rose's advice and go to bed. Hopefully sleep will stop the ticking in your head and bring your brother back.

* * *

You wake up to knocking at your front door. The first thing that pops into your head is Bro. He probably lost his key and isn't able to unlock the door. You leap out of bed and basically run for the door. You look through the peephole, because despite your excitement you're still paranoid. Once your eye focuses your heart stops.

It's not him.

Your resolve is gone, desperation is now at its peak. Happiness is at a minimum. You were walking back to your room when they knocked a second time, and then again. You look out the peephole once more and realize you recognize this person. It's the bastard that killed your bird, you think his name is Carl. You look at the plastic bag next to the door containing his old clothes and shoes. Looking at it pisses you off. You guess you can give the package to him now, it'll be convenient for bro if he comes back.

You grab your shades from your bedroom and try to take a few deep breaths. Talking to people has never been your strong suit, and it's even worse now. Everyone makes you anxious, you don't know what their intentions are and it concerns you. They knock a fourth time and you finally decide to open the door, if only just a crack.

"Hey uh...kid." Carl looks really nervous, you'd probably look the same if you didn't have the infamous Strider poker face on. "Is Di- er… Is your brother around?" You shake your head indicating that he isn't, "Do you know where he is?" You shrug and he sighs.

"Alright then. I understand you're probably pissed at me for killing your bird, as is Dirk. And I reallllly don't want to get on his bad side… more than I already am I guess. So I came here to apologize." He smiles meekly, "I brought this for your brother but seeing as he's not home I guess you can have it. Just don't tell him I gave it to you." He hands you a brown paper bag with what feels like a bottle of alcohol in it, you give him the plastic bag with his possessions in it.

"Oh man, thanks kid, I really needed these. Really sorry about your bird, I honestly thought it was wild or something. I mean not many people have crows chilling in their rooms. Anyways, if you could tell your brother that I came over to apologize that would be wonderful." He starts to walk away but turns around when you start to talk.

"Have you seen my brother around?" Your voice is cool, calm and collected. Just as you hoped.

"Nah, I've been trying to steer clear of him. He probably wants to kill me if I'm going to be honest. It's kinda relieving that I didn't have to talk to him, I was getting pretty nervous. My friends literally had to drag me here." He laughs and clears his throat awkwardly. "Why? Has he been gone long?" You shrug again.

"Jeez. You're just as hard to read as your brother." He looks down the hall and then back at you, "He'll be home soon kid, he seems to like you quite a bit, I wouldn't worry if I were you. Drink some of what's in that bag, it's good shit and you'll forget all about him bein' gone. It's what I did when my parents left me at your age." He smirks and walks to the direction of the stairwell. You close the door and lock it.

Back in your room you sit on the bed and pull the bottle out of the bag. It seems to be some low shelf whiskey that you know Bro would pour down the drain. It's probably best that he wasn't given this, he would end up being more vengeful from the shitty apology gift. You take out your phone and look at the time. It's 6 pm, you ended up sleeping for awhile. He's been gone another day now. You contemplate texting him but you don't want to seem pushy so you choose not to. Instead you open the pesterchum app and chat with Rose.

TG: hey rose you up  
 _TT: Hello Deav._  
 _TT: **Dave._  
TG: whats up  
TG: do you miss kanaya again  
 _TT: I geush._  
 _TT: It's jsut so hard being away from her. She's my girlyfriend and now sh's like two universes away!_  
 _TT: I shuld be happy because we're all alibe but only talking to her online is a BIG change from talking to her everyday._  
TG: at least you guys can still talk and stuff  
TG: thats a good thing right  
 _TT: Yesh, at least we aren't totally cut off._  
 _TT: Thanks you. Has your brother retrunwd?_  
 _TT: **Returned._  
TG: no hes still not here  
TG: the asshole who killed my bird came over to apologize to bro  
TG: and me i guess  
TG: mostly bro tho  
 _TT: The hopeless man?_  
 _TT: *Homeless._  
TG: yeah  
TG: he gave me this shitty alcohol as an apology gift and i dont know what to do  
TG: part of me wants to drink it but the other more rational part of me firmly says no  
 _TT: I'm not going to say anyfing one way or another._  
 _TT: Bc you can probably tell i'm not the best in tis area._  
TG: well yeah obviously we established that awhile ago  
TG: i think i'm just going to sleep again  
 _TT: That's prbably a good idea. Goodnight._

You're staring at the bottle while Carl's words ring in your ears. If it would help you forget about bro being gone then...why not? Rose seems to have the same idea so it must help. After a few minutes of contemplation you decide to take the risk. You don't even know if he'll come back so you don't see any reason not to. You unscrew the cap and chug it. You take the mentality of one and done and just go for it. You do this a few more times, until your body starts to feel distant and out of place. You put the lid back on a lay down in your bed.

The pillows are really fucking comfortable, that's your first thought. you bring the blankets around you and burrow into the warmth. Your breath tastes like bitter alcohol but you can't bring yourself to care. You just want to dissolve into the mattress and never feel again. It's working pretty well until your finger catches on one of the shirts in your bed. It's Bro's shirt.

All of a sudden everything is super shitty again. Bro is gone, most likely for a long time. He might not be coming back. You're just not sure what's going on or what you should do. You reach for the bottle again and take a few more drinks. By the end there are tears sliding down your cheeks and into the sheets. Cursing softly you remove your shades and wipe your eyes. It's no use because you keep crying, every time you try to stop your breath will shudder and it will start up again. You can't control yourself anymore so you let go and sob dramatically. You sit, sobbing while drunk in your bed at 11 PM because you've been alone for 3 days and 41 minutes. You're alone and you're scared this is never going to end.

* * *

As you board a plane back to Houston you promise yourself you'll never drink again. This whole fiasco started when you got to work 2 days ago. The night was running smoothly and you thought you would get home early. Dave was acting pretty nervous so you didn't want to leave him alone for too long. As the night progressed more and more people started cramming into the bar. Then one of your ex girlfriends from high school showed up, from the awkward days when you thought you were straight. You started talking and catching up, she seemed somewhat decent so you decided to hang out with her for a bit. After she bought you a large amount of drinks you got into her car. You were so out of it you didn't realize getting to her house took 6 hours, you would have caught on but you fell asleep during the trip. You kinda think she drugged you.

You woke up while she was pulling into a high class neighborhood. She parked outside of a very large, fancy house and told you to follow her. You were literally lost, you had no idea where you were, so you did. She let you into her house and it looked like something out of a movie. Nice wood floors, chandeliers, the whole 9 yards. She started saying really odd things along the lines of, 'I'll pay you to marry me.' By then you were very confused and even more alarmed. You asked what time it was and when she said 4 PM your stomach dropped. You told her you really needed to get home and back to your brother. You tried to explain that he has a hard time being alone but she ignored you. You had no idea how to get yourself out of this situation. You thought about calling a cab, but you didn't know the address.

You started to think this girl kidnapped you, in retrospect she basically did. You decided to play it cool and plan your escape. She kept you busy the first night, making you do random things with her. It mostly consisted of her forcing you to sit in a hot tub with her. You tried to leave but she woke up when you opened the door to your room so you played it off as having to go to the bathroom. You tried to text Dave to tell him your predicament but none of the messages would send. To say you were worried was an understatement.

The next day she took you shopping. You began to realize she was serious about the marriage thing when you told her you needed to go to work. She said, 'This is your job now. You don't have to be a shitty DJ anymore.' This time when she drove home you payed attention to street signs so you could call a cab later. That evening you left your room door open so she would be alerted by the movement. You called a taxi and watched out the window. Once it arrived you crept down the hall and to the front door. You knew the door would wake her up so you had a plan of opening it and running.

That's exactly what you did, you threw the door open and sprinted into the taxi. Before the driver could say anything you told him to drive, so he did. First, you asked him what city you were in. He said a town you've never heard of. You asked him how far away that was from Houston and he said about 6 hours. You cringed and told him to take him to the nearest airport. The last of your money was spent buying a plane ticket, it was either that or the bus. You needed to get home fast, and a bus would not promise that.

Sitting in the plane you think about your situation. Shit like this only happens on TV, but you've dealt with worse before. Your life is really a wreak. As the plane took off you felt a weight leave your shoulders. You would be home to Dave soon, you just hope something bad hasn't happened yet. You watch the ground throughout the flight. The patches of different green and brown look similar to a puzzle. After awhile the pilot indicates that you would be landing soon.

As soon as the door was open you left. You didn't have any luggage so you bolted out the airport. You hailed a cab and told the driver your address. It only took 10 minutes to get there but that was the longest 10 minutes of your life. Once you paid you literally ran up the stairs, skipping steps. You fumbled with the keys and frantically unlocked the door.

You go straight to Dave's room, kicking off your shoes on the way. When you entered the apartment you thought you could hear him crying, but now you realize he's sobbing. You look in his room and find a sight you really didn't want to see. Dave was curled in on himself in his bed, muffling his sobs into a pillow. On the ground next to the bed is a half empty bottle of whiskey. You don't know how he got that but you're going to kill whoever gave it to him.

"Dave, I'm here."

It seems as if he didn't hear you. You sit on the bed and rest your hand on his back. He freezes and peeks out from his pile of blankets. He stares as you for a minute, broken, panicked breaths replace his cries. You can smell the alcohol on him from here.

He tries to sit up but his body won't let him so you lay down next to him. He scoots really close to you, like right up in your personal business, and attempts to put his arms around you to get even closer. He seems to have no control of his body so he basically puts his hand on your arm and rests it there. He says something but it's far too slurred for you to understand.

"What did you say?"

"M' sorry Bro…" His words are so thick it's still pretty hard for you to understand what he's saying. You frown, he really has nothing to be sorry for. Yes, he's not supposed to drink but given the circumstances you'll let it slide. You were worried he'd do something worse honestly.

"You don't have to be sorry kid. If anyone is sorry here it's me." You push his bangs out of his face and wipe away the tears that started up again, "I really didn't mean to be gone for so long, some really fucked up shit happened." You sigh when he whimpers and starts crying harder, "But I promise Dave, I swear on my life I will not leave you. This will never happen again. I'm here, and I will always be here. No matter what."

He nods against your chest. In time he calms until all that's coming from him is an occasional hiccup. He snuggles into you and you kiss the top of his head. You're untangling the knots in his hair with your fingers when you decide to start talking again. He always falls asleep during late night conversations, you're pretty sure your voice is soothing to him.

"Can you want to tell me how you got the alcohol lil man?" He makes a confused sound before realizing what you said.

"Bird killer," his answer is mumbled but you can still hear it. Mostly due to you being in such close proximity. You're not too sure what he means at first but then it clicks.

"Carl?" He hums in agreement, "What was he doing here?"

"To 'pologize. Said it'd help." Everything he says is so slurred you need to take a minute to process it. You're pretty sure the second statement doesn't connect with the first.

"He said what would help?"

"Kept knocking. Got real annoying."

"I'm sure it did, he's an annoying guy. But focus for a second. What did he say would help?"

"Said," he hiccups and forgets what he was saying. You ask again in a soft voice and he continues, "drink would help me f'rget you left."

Ah, so that's it. You knew Dave wouldn't just drink on his own, it's completely out of character. You're guessing he did it out of sheer desperation. When you hear him start to apologize again you hush him and assure that it's alright. This happens multiple times but eventually he grows quiet. The only sound in the room is the rush of traffic and the occasional cricket, it's far more peaceful than the harsh sobbing from earlier. He falls asleep clinging to you like a koala and you drift off soon after.


	6. Club

This is so out of character I can't decide if I should laugh or cry.  
Trigger warnings; lil' dave freakouts, strong language.  
This is unedited, please review!

* * *

"Lil dude" he jumps and looks up, you wonder if he'll ever stop being startled when you unexpectedly greet him. He was writing something but now all of his attention is shifted to you. You kinda want to know what he was writing but that's not why you're here. Gotta focus.

"Yeah?" He knows what you're about to say, you can see it on his face. There's no going around it.

"I have to go to work." His whole body deflates and you hear a soft sigh.

"Okay…" he's making the face that takes your heart and crushes it. Whenever he's about to cry it looks like all the happiness he once had disappears.

You've been working on solutions for his problems regarding you leaving. So far the only thing you've come up with is him coming with you when you go out. As of now he's only gone to the grocery store, bank, and various fast food restaurants. He doesn't leave the car unless you're going to the supermarket though. During the beginning it didn't work very well, he would usually start freaking out as you were driving to the store. You ended up turning back and going to the market by yourself the next day on multiple occasions.

The first time you got him outside of the apartment building was difficult, it was late in the evening so not many people were out but he was still incredibly on edge. He stayed close to you while you walked through the parking lot until he stopped unexpectedly. It was rather obvious going to the store wasn't going to happen. When you heard him mumble, 'I don't think I can do this' you knew it was time to go back to the apartment. That night you watched My Little Pony and ate pizza rolls until he fell asleep on the futon. You remember being proud he made it that far, a week prior it was hard to get him out of the apartment.

But now you feel even more pride, you've been going to the store together for a few weeks now and he hardly has any trouble getting and staying there anymore. Yes, he still gets freaked out, half of the time he looks scared shitless behind those shades. But only you can tell, you can see straight through his passive strider facade while others just see a uninterested teenage boy. Despite his fear he pulls through, and it makes you so happy, so proud.

"Kid, you know how you've been going places with me?" He gives you a questioning look, obviously hesitant.

"Sure."

"What if I bring you to the club with me?" What are you doing?

"Bro, that would never work." He says this like it's an obvious fact, it sorta is.

"Aw why not? Tonight I stay in the back room and make sure the lights don't get fucked up or something gets unplugged. We could sit back and make fun of the shitty music, nobody would bother us." Why are you doing this?

"That doesn't seem like a good idea." You have to admit it's a stupid plan but you're not giving up easily. Something tells you it will work.

"It would be better than going to the store, we just go to the club and enter through the backdoor into the back room. You won't have to see anybody, and if anybody does come along i'll deal with them. They won't talk to you unless you want them to." Why are you being so persistent?

"I don't know…" It looks like he's considering it.

"Think about it while I get ready." you walk into your room to get ready for your shift. You don't know what you're doing. You don't know what made you think suggesting him coming with you was a good idea. He'll never go for it. But you can try, that's what you've been doing all along. Testing things to see what helps Dave and what doesn't.

You change your clothes and brush your teeth. One you're sure you look presentable you go back into the living room. Dave is sitting on the futon fiddling with his sweatshirt. He put on different clothes and his hair isn't sticking out everywhere anymore.

"Are you coming?" You sound a bit too excited.

"I guess. I still think it's a bad idea but I don't want to stay here alone."

"This is going to be great, don't worry your pretty little blonde head. It'll be like bring your kid to work day." You go in the kitchen and grab some ibuprofen for you and Dave. It gets pretty loud and headache inducing in the club after awhile.

"What about your boss?"

"Take this, you'll thank me later." You hand him the pills and a glass of water, "My boss won't give a shit. She'll probably get way too excited if she figures out you're with me. But don't worry, I won't let her harass you. I doubt she'll even notice."

Grabbing your keys and jacket you check the time on your phone. You have about 15 minutes. That's enough time to get to work even if you need to turn back and drop him off at home again. You wait for Dave to slip on his shoes and ready himself. Once he's mustered up some courage you go out into the hall. The trip down to the ground floor and through the parking lot is uneventful. You get in the car and start your journey to the club. You hope this works. Your ideas don't work out well sometimes and you're scared you might be fucking up.

The car ride is smooth and quiet. You opt for no music on the way there, you like quiet before you're bombarded by noise for hours on end. Dave is staring out the window with his legs pulled to his chest and his cheek resting on his knee. He always sits like that in the car, you're pretty sure it's a safety hazard. For some reason you can't bring yourself to make him stop, you just want him to be comfortable.

His hand twitches until it's resting on your arm. Previously he could hold onto you throughout any car ride you but now he only resorts to it when traffic gets bad or something freaks him out. Today it's the police and an ambulance speeding by that alarms him.

"Are you alright?" You ask at a stop light, "we can turn around if you need to go home." He shakes his head.

"I'm fine, I don't want to be alone. That sounds worse than going to a dingy old club."

"Just making sure." You pull into a parking lot down the street from your job, the bar parking lot gets filled with drunken fools so you don't usually park there. You get out of the car and he proceeds to grip your arm lightly.

"Kid, if this gets to be too much I want you to let me know. I will drop everything and take you home if you need me to. Don't worry."

"Alright." You slightly thought he would tell you to take him home then but you kept walking. You are standing outside of the club in a dark back alleyway looking at Dave look at some crows. You bring him under your arm and feel him shaking slightly.

"Are you sure you're alright? I can take you home."

"I'll be okay."

"Then get ready for the sights and sounds of the backstage of a shitty run down club!" He scoffs lightly and you use that as indication to open the door. You pull him into the room and watch him examine his new surroundings. He's still shaking under your grasp, but it hasn't gotten any worse. That's a good sign.

Seconds pass of his eyes darting around and you holding your breath. So far he isn't showing any signs of having a major freakout. Eventually he shoves his face into your side and takes a few deep breaths, "This is weird."

"I know. Do you need to go home?" He shakes his head and clings tighter. He's so uncomfortable, that's painfully obvious. But his fear of being alone overshadows it. "Let's sit down." You pull him to the computer that controls most of the electronics and sit on the dirty couch nearby. While he's hiding his face against your chest you see someone enter. It's loud so Dave doesn't notice and all it takes is a stern glare from you to get them to leave.

"Why don't I show you all the fancy backstage business we're getting ourselves into." You decide to try and distract him.

"Fuck off." He has no bite to his voice so you chuckle.

"Just look." He removes himself from you and glances at what you're pointing to. "We have to have sure the computer doesn't shut off and the program's don't stop working unexpectedly. All those dumb little dots on the screen should be green. If any of them turn yellow or red let me know. That's it."

He hums and rests his head on your shoulder, "no wonder you wanted me to come, you've got your hands full."

"At least someone understands. They're busting my ass over here." You sit peacefully until the back door is knocked on. Dave gasps and sits up straight from the sudden noise. "It's fine, it's probably my boss. Just sit here." You stand up and go to the door, sure enough it's your boss. She looks drunk as ever.

"Brooo, I heard from a lil birdie you got a friendo back there with you." You raise an eyebrow but say nothing, "C'mon lemme see who ya got back there! I promise I won't make em leave." You cross your arms over your chest and stay silent, "This ain't fair, It's my baarrr, c'mon!" She's whining with this stupid look on her face. Do you really have to deal with this?

"It's my brother, and I don't really want anybody to talk to him." You have a rare serious tone to your voice and she notices.

"Bro lemme meet cha' brother I wanna see him. Please? I promise I won't bug you again until ya next shift. Please, pretty pleassseeee? I won't say anything stupid like Carl did. C'mon Bro you trust me, right?"

You look at Dave and back to your boss, "One moment." You walk over to Dave and sigh, "My boss wants to meet you. She won't do anything stupid. Is that ok?" He lightly shrugs. That's the best answer you're going to get. You go back to the door and stare at her.

"Quick ground rules; if he gets visibly uncomfortable stop talking and leave. Watch what you say and don't fuck up." Carl was giving you the same look she's giving you now.

"Oh jeez, you're serious about this aren't ya? Aight I'll watch my mouth." That's an appropriate answer. You let her into the room and sit next to Dave. She approaches in awe, like she's seeing a rare animal.

"This is ya kid brother?" She puts her hand in front of her mouth, "He's so different than what I was expectin." She sits down in an office chair next to the couch.

"Carl said you were like a smaller Bro so I was expectin pointy shades and spiky hair. But that ain't right.." She studies his face and he just stares.

"You're so much prettier than him, so much smaller. I didn't know a Strider could be so cute. No wonder your brother keeps you hidden away." She's grinning ear to ear but Dave still hasn't reacted. "Don't worry Bro, ya still my main man."

"I wasn't worried. At all." You reply deadpan and she winks.

"Well if one thing transferred into your cute lil brother it's that unreadable Strider stare~" She spins around In her chair until she gets dizzy and stops to address Dave once again.

"Hey Bro's bro, my name is Amy and I provide your brother with employment!" She holds out her hands and beams, "What's your name?"

"Dave." He takes her hand and shakes it quickly.

"Dave, eh? That's cute, suits ya. So I heard from a certain someone that you like lil birdies." You give her a warning look but she gives you a, 'I know what I'm doing' look so you back off. Despite her disposition she is very intelligent. Dave nods.

"I like em' too, I have a pet parrot. It's name is Scrap and he's the best." Suddenly Dave is alittle more engaged with this conversation. "He usually runs around the trailer and goes through my stashes. He likes to collect shit and he makes these cute little nests out of socks and shirts that are lying around. He knows a few words, not much though, I think he's alittle slow if we're going to be honest." You can tell Dave is actually paying attention to what she's saying. Maybe this was a good idea after all.

"If you want I could bring him the next time you come with Bro. I bet you would get along, he's a bit ornery but I heard you tamed a little crow. That's no small feat little Bro. You're like the bird whisperer." Throughout her entire time of talking she never appeared phased by the fact Dave was hardly responding. After a moment of silence he nodded slightly.

"I'd like to meet your parrot." She looked like her day was made, smiling with yellow teeth and all. She clapped her hands and bounced like a happy toddler before standing up.

"Aight little Bro, next time we meet it will be with a beautiful bird! Birdie bonding time is a go! It was nice to meet cha', hope we can become good friends." She skipped out of the room into the main area of the bar. Once he knew you were alone he leaned on you again and sighed. You stay in silence for the remainder of your shift. About 2 hours in he told you this music was shit and you couldn't help but break into laughter. You think it's shit too. While you were locking up Amy came up to you again.

"You wanna know why I brought Dave, right?" You look up from the counter you're wiping off.

"If ya willing to tell me yeh." She looks around for other employees but finds none, "I could tell he wasn't too keen on people talkin to him."

"I don't want to say much, but I trust you won't say anything to anyone. Correct?" She zips her mouth. "He has a lot of anxiety about me leaving him alone so I decided to just...take him with me."

"Did it help?" She looks genuinely concerned.

"Despite the initial panic I think it probably did." You're pretty sure he would have shut down and spent the night staring out the window absentmindedly if you left him there.

"Would it help if I scheduled ya in the back more often? He could come chill with you more then."

"That would help more than you know." Wow, she's really one of the only decent people you know.

"I'll look into it. Is this why you've been actin so odd lately? You just aren't that into the par-tay anymore. Alot of people have been noticin. "

"I guess. I don't know, I just want to make sure he's ok and I can't do that while I'm drunk and stoned all the time."

"I feel you, well, go home. I'll finish locking up. Text me when ya bringing him again so I can bring my bird."

"Will do, thanks boss man."


	7. Past

Blah blah blah boring sappy chapter  
Trigger warnings; strong language.  
This is (really) unedited, please review.

* * *

(This chapter takes place a during the first few weeks of returning to earth. I don't know how to explain this, all you need to know is this happened months ago in the timeline of this story.)

"Bro," You look up from your computer when Dave stalks into the living room. You set it on the ground when he comes and sits next to you on the futon.

"Hey kid, what's up?" He has this look in his eye and you're not sure what it means. You're thinking this isn't going to be a pretty talk.

"Do you ever get annoyed with me?" He's not looking at you anymore, he's staring at a burn on the ground.

"No… What do you mean?" A large frown falls onto his features, "Why do you ask?"

"It's just…" He sighs and grips his fabric of his pants. "You're at the time of your life when you should be out partying and going out with your friends and having all sorts of dudes fawning over you." He takes a deep breath and continues, "But instead you're sitting at home trying to make sure your fucked up little brother doesn't do a pirouette off the handle and plummet headfirst into the deep end of the kiddy pool. You shouldn't have to take care of me anymore, you already sacrificed years of your life raising me as a child and now you have to deal with all this whiny bullshit."

It's your turn to frown, you don't like where this conversation is headed. Does he really think he's a burden to you? His voice breaks when he starts talking again, "You must get annoyed that I keep crawling into bed with you like a frightened child, and me freaking out every single time you go to work must be getting really old, right? You don't have to stay here all the time if you don't want to. I mean, it's probably boring as hell staying up all night watching stupid shows and movies with me. It's not like I'm very good at conversation so I can't even provide you with witty banter."

"No, Dave, no… I don't feel like that at all." You're so concerned for him, you wish he could trust you.

"I just don't get it!" His tone is suddenly filled with desperation. "Why are you being so nice to me? You were never like this before the game. You never showed any emotion or affection, at all, ever. You were calculating and unreadable. And suddenly it's like you're completely the opposite. Now you care, and you're really fucking nice, and you don't make me strife or fuck with me or scare me. You don't do any of that anymore and I don't know why! Is it because you feel bad for me? Do you find me pathetic and pitiful? I don't understand!"

You are going to stop this train of thought before it derails and becomes a mess. You never really put much thought into why you suddenly care for Dave. It's like once you came back to the real world your mind was clear. When you think back to before the game all you remember is cal. It's like you were being controlled by him. You know a few times you took a step back and realized what you were doing was wrong. That you were basically abusing your kid. But those thoughts were quickly overrun by commands to prepare him for the game. You didn't even know what the game was, you were just listening to cal. But now it's like you're free of his influence and you care for your brother.

"Lil man, I can't explain why things are so different now. I think it's got something to do with cal being gone. I'm sorry for how I acted before, and nobody's influence, especially a puppet's, can excuse the shitty things I did to you." He glances at you and you smile, "I'm not annoyed with you or the situation I find myself in. I love my new life. I love that I get to spend so much time with you, I love that I no longer find myself in random locations when I wake up. But most of all I love you. I love you so, so much. I don't pity you, I don't feel bad for you, I just want you to be happy."

By now he is staring at you with tears running down his face. You take off his shades and wipe them away.

"Bro, can I tell you something?" You nod, "I'm still god tier."

You have no idea what that means, "Sorry kid, I'm not too up to date on game terms."

"If you die on this thing called a quest bed you come back with powers based on your class and aspect. I'm the knight of time so I have all these fancy time powers." He sighs and pulls these red turntables out of nowhere, "with a quick spin of these I could change the timeline. I could go back and fuck everything up." The turntables disappear as quickly as they came.

"But that's no big deal, I would never do anything like that. The thing is that all of my friends attained god tier but none of them have it anymore. I'm the only one with powers still. I think it's because I didn't die during the final battle."

"When you ascend to god tier I'm pretty sure you become immortal. I know you can't be killed unless it's a heroic or just death, but I don't know if you stop aging at some point. I'm scared that I'm going to stop aging and become immortal. I'm scared that I'll never die because how does someone die a just or heroic death in a normal world? I've seen people die defending someone but still that was against things that were dooming the timeline. I don't want all of you to get old while I stay young and watch you die. Then I'll be alone forever." He covers his face as his cries worsen, "That doesn't sound like winning at all."

Every time you learn something new about that game you marvel in it's complexities. It's so unnecessary. But, if you're understanding what the kid is saying then he might be immortal? You have no idea what to do with that information. It offers too many questions and not enough answers. Again you find yourself unsure of what you should do.

"Uh… Dave I don't really know what to say. I'll be here even if you become an immortal young adult. Don't worry, everything is going to be okay." You pull him into a hug and let him cry, silently cursing yourself. You don't know how to help him and it hurts.

* * *

TG: hey karkles  
CG: WHAT.  
TG: oh man  
TG: how I missed the capslock  
CG: FUCK OFF STRIDER.  
TG: ok fine i was just going to ask you something  
TG: because of your infinitely superior troll intellect  
CG: I UNDERSTAND THE HUMAN SARCASM NOW.  
CG: SO ALL I'M GOING TO SAY IS A BIG, "FUCK YOU."  
TG: right anyways  
TG: its about quadrants  
CG: HOLD THE PHONE.  
CG: YOU, DAVE STRIDER, ARE ASKING ME ABOUT *QUADRANTS*?  
TG: yeah whatever shut up  
TG: i was just thinking  
TG: do trolls like cheat on eachother  
TG: i mean obviously its a thing but is it common  
TG: because from what i saw in those god awful romcoms you made me watch the relationships are pretty rock solid  
CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN.  
TG: uh  
TG: ok hypothetical situation here  
TG: one troll is in a pale ass relationship with another one and then said troll goes off and finds someone really fucking pitiful  
TG: like the most pitiful motherfucker out there  
TG: so they shoosh pap the shit out of them  
TG: does that happen  
CG: WHO ARE YOU PALE FOR?  
TG: what no  
TG: i dont like anyone what the fuck  
CG: IS IT ROSE? I'VE ALWAYS SUSPECTED SOME UNDERLYING PALE FEELINGS BETWEEN YOU TWO.  
TG: fuck no  
TG: step away from the shipping chart  
CG: IS IT JOHN? I CAN'T IMAGINE IT BEING JADE BECAUSE OF YOUR PRIOR RELATIONSHIP.  
TG: karkat you of all people should know that john is quote "not a homosexual"  
TG: im not interested in anyone we already discussed this  
TG: on earth quadrants wont work  
TG: while i agree that the system could be applied to human relationships our society just cant process that  
TG: most people wouldnt find moirails romantic and kismesis would come off as somewhat abusive  
TG: not to mention the fact that we are still pretty limited to the one man and one woman formula  
TG: besides i dont interact with people enough to want any sort of relationship with them  
CG: RIGHT.  
CG: YOU'RE JUST ASKING ME IF TROLLS CHEAT ON EACHOTHER IN PALE RELATIONSHIPS FOR NO OTHER REASON BUT YOUR INANE CURIOSITY.  
CG: THIS CONVERSATION IS IN NO WAY YOU TRYING TO FIGURE OUT YOUR STUPID FEELINGS.  
TG: exactly  
TG: im glad we are on the same page  
CG: UGH.  
CG: WHY CAN'T YOU ACKNOWLEDGE YOU HAVE FEELINGS JUST LIKE ANY OTHER PATHETIC HUMAN.  
TG: god damn it just drop it and answer my question  
CG: FINE.  
CG: OF FUCKING COURSE SOME TROLLS ARE UNFAITHFUL. IT DOESN'T HAPPEN VERY OFTEN THOUGH.  
CG: WHEN SOMEONE ENTERS OUR QUADRANTS IS BECAUSE WE HAVE A STRONG BOND, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO MORAILSHIPS.  
CG: SO IT'S UNLIKELY THAT THEY WOULD GO OFF AND FIND SOMEONE ELSE EASILY.  
CG: IF IT DID HAPPEN I WOULD EXPECT THE RELATIONSHIP WASN'T STABLE FROM THE START AND WAS BOUND TO FAIL EVENTUALLY  
CG: WHY.  
TG: to be honest I started thinking about how humans are all really fucking pale to one another  
TG: like kids on the street outside my apartment comfort and pap each other all the time with no reservations  
TG: and then I asked myself how would a troll react to seeing all this shoosh out in the open  
TG: would they find it promiscuous  
TG: so I decided to ask the quadrant master himself  
CG: I GUESS IT DEPENDS  
CG: WHAT ARE THE PINK FLESH MONKEYS DOING  
TG: i cant get over your description of children  
TG: are you sure youre ready for this  
TG: you wont get all flustered at the thought of these human shenanigans  
CG: STOP BEING AN ASS BEFORE I BLOCK YOU.  
TG: wait  
TG: no  
TG: please dont  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK.  
TG: karkat please dont  
TG: what if something really fucked up happens and we won't be able to talk again  
TG: i wont say shit like that anymore i promise  
CG: DAVE I WAS JOKING.  
CG: WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.  
TG: i have to go  
CG: DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE.  
CG: YOU CAN'T JUST GET ALL WEIRD OUT OF NOWHERE AND EXPECT ME TO NOT WANT AN EXPLANATION.  
TG: im sorry  
TG: i really have to go  
TG: my brother is home  
TG: if you really need some sort of explanation talk to rose  
CG: GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE AND TALK TO ME.  
CG: FUCK.

* * *

CG: DAVE JUST DID SOMETHING REALLY WEIRD.  
 _TT: I see, care to elaborate?  
_ CG: WELL HE MESSAGED ME OUT OF NOWHERE TO ASK ME ABOUT QUADRANTS? AT FIRST I ASKED WHO HE HAD FEELINGS FOR BUT HE REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE ANYTHING.  
CG: I AM STILL HIGHLY SKEPTICAL.  
 _TT: What exactly did he say?  
_ CG: HE ASKED IN TROLLS WERE OFTEN UNFAITHFUL IN MORAILSHIPS.  
 _TT: Oh goodness.  
_ _TT: I can assure you he wasn't asking you for relationship advice.  
_ CG: HOW.  
 _TT: He told me about this story he's going to write about a troll who goes around having pale relations with multiple trolls. He was really getting into it. I'll admit his ideas were pretty good.  
_ _TT: If I remember correctly it was called, 'Promiscuous Palemance'.  
_ _TT: He was going to send it to you once it was complete to see how you would react. I guess the plan is ruined now.  
_ CG: WOW. THAT DOESN'T SOUND HALF BAD.  
CG: SO HE WAS DOING RESEARCH?  
 _TT: I would assume so, yes.  
_ _TT: Is that what you found odd?  
_ CG: WELL IT WAS WEIRD. BUT THAT'S NOT IT, THEN HE ASKED IF TROLLS WOULD FIND THE AMOUNT PUBLIC OF "SHOOSH PAP" ON EARTH INDECENT. I ASKED WHAT THE PEOPLE WERE DOING AND HE REPLIED IN A SMART ASS WAY. SO I SAID SOMETHING ABOUT NOT BEING AN ASS OR I'D BLOCK HIM AND HE GOT ALL WEIRD. HE KEPT ASKING ME NOT TO BLOCK HIM AND THEN HE SAID HE HAD TO GO. I THINK HIS LUSUS WAS HOME.  
 _TT: Oh.  
_ CG: OH. THAT'S YOUR ANSWER?  
 _TT: You're here because you want me to explain his reaction. Am I correct?  
_ CG: HE TOLD ME IF I WANTED AN EXPLANATION TO GO TO YOU.  
 _TT: Dave just doesn't want anybody to leave. He wants everyone to stay and be happy and not leave him. When you said you would block him he most likely associated that with you leaving so he tried to prevent that from happening.  
_ CG: SO DAVE IS KINDA FUCKED UP NOW.  
 _TT: He's no more fucked up than any of us.  
_ CG: WHY'D HE LEAVE SUDDENLY.  
 _TT: You said his brother was home, that's probably why.  
_ CG: I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHY WOULD HE HAVE TO LEAVE BECAUSE HIS LUSUS RETURNED.  
CG: IS IT STILL BEING A DICK TO HIM?  
 _TT: No it's the opposite. Bro is being extremely supportive to Dave.  
_ CG: WASN'T IT LIKE...REALLY FUCKED UP TO HIM BEFORE?  
 _TT: He was but he hasn't shown any violent or negligent behaviors. I choose not to think about the sudden change. He's not hurting Dave anymore, that's all that matters.  
_ CG: OK WELL I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE. TODAY I LEARNED DAVE "COOLKID" STRIDER HAS MORE EMOTIONS THAN I PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT. IT'S A MIRACLE.  
CG: OH GOG I JUST MENTIONED MIRACLES CULL ME NOW.  
 _TT: I think Dave is the most empathetic person I know. He just doesn't know how to express himself properly.  
_ CG: UH SURE. IF YOU SAY SO.  
CG: THANKS ROSE.  
 _TT: Don't mention it._


	8. Awkward

this story is 100% trash  
Trigger warnings; nightmares, blood, strong language.  
This is unedited, please review!

* * *

The apartment was darker than usual, the atmosphere dull and lifeless. It had been like this for awhile, you hadn't heard your brother but you knew he was home. You saw him in the other room a few hours ago. Despite this you were starting to worry.

You left your room, turning into the living room. Bro was sitting on the couch like always but something seemed different. You just can't seem to figure out what. Stepping closer something catches your eye, something that really shouldn't be there.

Red. Bright red pooling on the ground and couch around Bro. Your knees go weak when you see one of the shitty swords from his collection piercing the middle of his chest. It's happening again.

The only thing you can think is 'no' as your shaking hands try to find any sign of life. There's nothing, no pulse, or breathing, he's not even slightly warm. Everything is telling you that he's dead, and has been for awhile.

"Bro… Hey. Can you get up?" You shake him lightly, causing his body to hunch over. Other than that he doesn't respond.

"This isn't funny man get up." You're becoming desperate.

"Bro please." Your voice cracks.

"Don't leave me."

"Come on."

"You promised.

"Wake up."

"Bro?"

You wake up crying, you're pretty sure you screamed a second ago but you don't really know. You're not very aware of yourself currently. You hear fast shuffling until your brother appears in your doorway.

Like every other time you see him relief floods over you. He's here. He's alive. He's not going to die anytime soon either. You just can't convince yourself of the last part. You continue to shutter when he sits and wraps an arm around you.

"Did you have a nightmare?" He asks, voice low and slightly raspy. You nod, "wanna tell me what it was about?"

You sit for a minute, you don't really want to talk about it. At all. Even thinking about it makes your throat close up. Instead you touch the center of his chest lightly. He seems to understand instantly and pulls you closer.

"Ah kid… I'm so sorry." He holds you and the room falls silent, lately he's stopped trying to comfort you with words. He use to ramble on about random things when you got upset, probably in an attempt to distract you. But he doesn't do that anymore.

He just hugs you, lets you know he's here and not going anywhere. He still says these small comforting things every few minutes. The occasional words are easier to process than the long rants from the past. Calming down you lean on him for support.

* * *

It's 9:46 PM and you have to go to work soon. But in all honestly you couldn't care less about that damn club right now. Dave needs you, pretty badly from the looks of things.

You were cleaning out the fridge, something that hasn't been done for years, when you hear Dave basically shriek 'no'. You got up from the floor and flash stepped to his room as quickly as you could.

He's in his bed, trying to breath as looks at you frantically. Usually when he sees you he calms down but it doesn't appear to be helping much this time. You decide to get closer so you sit on his bed and give him an awkward christian side hug.

"Did you have a nightmare?" You keep your voice down, he nods in confirmation.

"Wanna tell me what it was about?" He stays quiet, you didn't really expect an answer anyways. When he touches your chest you know exactly what his nightmare was about. Part of you is glad he doesn't want to get into the details.

"Ah kid… I'm so sorry." You stay with him for about 30 minutes, until you have to start getting ready for work. You don't exactly want to leave him alone right now but you work as the DJ tonight so you can't stay in the back room. Maybe you can figure something out.

"Do you want to go to work with me?" He shrugs lightly, you'll take that as a yes. "Alright. I have to figure some stuff out then. You might have to stay in the back alone." He doesn't say anything, just stares blankly. You've never liked that lost look on his face. You walk into the living room and call your boss.

"Bro if ya gonna tell me ya can't come in today I'm literally gonna freak the fuck out. You're the main DJ and our backup is outta state, without you I get no money! Without money there is no happiness Bro! NONE." She's basically yelling into the phone. You guess staying home isn't an option.

"Holy shit. Calm down. I'm coming in, don't flip your shit. But I have a huge favor to ask of you."

"A favor? What kinda favor?" She's calm again, voice at a normal tone.

"Remember my brother? And how you said he could come in whenever?"

"Baby Strider, of course! So cute."

"Right. So now is one of those times when I need to bring him in. But me not working the back kinda ruins it." You take a deep breath, you really don't want to do this.

"So I was wondering if you could maybe stay with him in the back room until my shift ends." This is a risky idea. Dave seemed to like Amy, he actually talked to her, but being alone with her was something else. Him staying with her for hours spelled trouble with a capital T. You just don't see any other way.

"You want me to babysit ya little bro? I feel like I should be honored or something. Yah, I'll stay with him." Her tone becomes slightly more serious, "is he okay?"

"I'll text you about it. I have to get ready though, I'll see you soon." You end the call and go back to Dave. He's sitting in the same spot scrolling through his phone.

"You can come with me, you'd be in the back with my boss the whole time. I have to provide music for a crowd of drunken teenagers. Is that alright?" He sighs before nodding, obviously not too pleased with the plan. "Get ready then. As badass as your tacky pajamas look they're kinda confusing to the general population." He looks at his God tier and mumbles something along the lines of, 'they're not pajamas'. You leave the room to get ready and text your boss.

BRO: so my kid had a fucked up dream about me dying.  
AMY: oh noooooo thats horrible! what should i do when he comes? im kinda nervous tbh  
AMY: this is a lot of pressure  
BRO: i don't know, the shit you do with anyone else? he won't act like anything is wrong so you shouldn't either.  
AMY: ok...  
BRO: just use common sense. don't let anyone else see him. obvious shit like that.  
BRO: everything will probably be fine.  
AMY: you dont seem very convinced  
BRO: i don't know if this is a good idea.  
AMY: itll be fine ill take goooood care of the baby Bro ;)  
BRO: oh god no.  
AMY: oh god yesssssss  
BRO: this is such a bad idea.  
AMY: hehehe

The drive is short but full of nervous energy. The longer you drive the more tense he becomes. He never tells you to turn around though, so you just keep going. Once at the club you usher him into the back room quickly and covertly. Amy is waiting for you. Upon seeing her Dave tenses. She gives you a weak smile and you turn your attention to Dave. You attempt to detach him from your side and ruffle his hair.

"I gotta go. My boss will make sure random people don't bother you." He steps alittle closer and puts his cheek against your chest. You kiss the top of his head as you feel him shake his head.

"I understand lil man. I won't be gone long, just try to fall asleep or something. I'll be back before you know it." You look over at Amy who is staring at you, obviously confused. Two brothers acting like this isn't a common sight. You just look away and try to get Dave to sit down.

You straighten his shades before pulling him to the couch. He stumbles behind you, obviously trying to maintain some passiveness to his movements. It's not exactly working. Once on the couch he brings his knees to his chest and rests his chin on them.

Knowing you won't leave unless you depart now you give him a reassuring smile that causes your boss' jaw to drop. You choose to ignore that. "I'll be in the other room, you can listen to my sweet tunes while I'm gone. I'll be back in a few hours." You pat his cheek, bringing a weak grin to his face. With that you walk into into the main area, hopefully everything will be daijoubu.

* * *

You just saw Bro Strider act so out of character you hardly know what to think. When he asked you to look after Dave you found it alittle odd. The kid looked old enough to look after himself. You agreed anyways, partly because of your curiosity but also because Bro sounded anxious.

You thought he would leave the kid with you and go to the booth quickly but that's not what happened. At all. He stayed and calmly tried to get the Dave detached from himself. Every movement was so gentle and every word so soft you felt alittle invasive just sitting there. You couldn't make out everything he said but that's probably for the best.

You really didn't think there was a soft spot in Bro, but watching him lightly caress his brothers cheek you realize it's there. If only for his brother. You've never seen him act this affectionately and it was alittle confusing to be honest. You decide to put this information in storage and address the situation at hand.

Bro had left and now you're sitting in the cramped back room with a kid who has said literally less than 10 words to you. Last time you talked to him you were pretty fucked up but now you're sober and you don't know what to say. He's just looking at his phone curled up on the dirty couch.

After a few minutes you realize you've been staring at the kid. You can't help it, he's just so different from what you expected out of a teenage Strider. He's much smaller, that's the first thing you noticed. Bro is a well built man, he is muscle and mass. Dave, however, is tall and skinny. His clothes hang off his body loosely while Bro's are tight and fitted.

Their hair is different, their shades are different, even their faces have subtle differences. If you didn't know better you might think they weren't related. The only thing that pointed to common heritage is the bright blonde hair, which is basically white on Dave's end, and their infamous Strider disposition. The shades were a dead giveaway.

You've seen Bro's eyes once, and it was completely by accident. A year or so ago he was talking with a some people. Somehow the conversation became heated and one of them decided to punch Bro in the face, breaking his shades in half. This happened before Bro started to mellow out so he proceeded to beat the kid senseless. When you finally got him to calm down you realized his eyes were bright orange. Not even slightly brown, just pure orange. You wonder if Dave has the same brilliant orange hidden under his aviators.

You forced yourself to stop staring but your mind was still full of questions. Why did Bro suddenly have a brother? You knew he had a brother, but up until now it wasn't common knowledge, or even discussed. Only half a year ago he hadn't mentioned his brother more than a few times. Then, out of nowhere, came his troubled little brother that seemed to be the center of Bro's life.

You want to know why his brother is so closed off, why he flinches every time he thinks someone is going to talk or get close to him. You don't want to blame Bro but you don't see any other reason why he could have become so distant and withdrawn. Bro wasn't exactly a model guardian up until awhile ago. You remember once he got a call in the middle of a smoking session, he would usually ignore calls but this was from his brother. He went into the hall but you could still hear his side of the conversation, it wasn't pretty.

"Kid stop fucking crying holy shit."  
"Man up and deal with it. There's a first aid kit under the sink, use that."  
"What do you mean there no bandages? God damn it. Ok, go into the kitchen and wad up a shitton of paper towels and use that. I don't know, use your brain."  
"Fucking hell. You're so annoying, you realize that right? Nobody else would get this upset over a simple cut."  
"Don't be such a pussy Dave. It's not even that bad."  
"Yeah, I'll be home in a few days. Yeah, I'll bring food. Bye."

With that in your mind you look at him again, only this time he's looking right back at you. You stare at eachother for a second until he looks at his phone again. This is really awkward. Should you try to talk to him? Does he even want to talk to you? What are you supposed to do?! You thought this would be alot easier.

Shockingly, he's the one who talks first. "Why are you staring at me?"

"Oh uh… You just look so different from your brother." You laugh awkwardly and he looks away briefly.

"What do you mean?" Did you offend him? You can't tell.

"You're just a lot cuter!" You smile, he looks unamused. "Uh… Your brother is just a lot bigger than you. And you don't really dress alike, your hairs all different not to mention your shades."

"Oh." He goes back to typing on his phone leaving you confused yet again

TG: i think my brothers boss just hit on me  
 _TT: What did they say?_  
TG: she called me cute but in a really weird way  
TG: she keeps staring at me and calling me small its kinda creepy  
 _TT: You are pretty cute Dave._  
TG: stfu rose  
 _TT: Anyways, I bet she's just trying to get on your good side._  
TG: its awkward though  
 _TT: It sounds rather awkward._  
TG: what should i do  
 _TT: I don't know just sit on your phone and scroll through tumblr._  
TG: im already doing that  
 _TT: Then continue scrolling through tumblr._  
TG: will do


	9. Rain

GUESS WHO FINALLY UPDATED!  
Sorry guys.  
This is unedited, please review!

* * *

You were going through the music files you stole off daves computer. It was 10AM and far too early for the kid to be awake. He was up all night watching a popular TV show that didn't exist before the game. It was pretty weird honestly, the main character was a crab fused with a rabbit girl. While browsing the meteor folder you came across two files named rap and rap2.

You listened to the file names rap first. It shocked you to say the least. It wasn't like any of the other songs in the folder. It wasn't full of melancholy and it actually had words. Dave was good at rapping, really good. You could understand all the words perfectly. You were just curious as to why there was only one song like this in the file. At first you thought it was in the wrong folder but then you listened to rap2. It wasn't a song, but a group of people talking.

"WHAT THE *ACTUAL* FUCK DID I JUST LISTEN TO?"  
"1 LOV3 IT D4V3. 1T R34LLY 1S L1K3 4LTE3N14N SL4M PO3TRY BUT NOT SLOW 4ND BOR1NG."  
"THERE ARE SO MANY HUMAN REFERENCES I CAN HARDLY FIGURE OUT WHAT FUCK YOU'RE SAYING."  
"bro there are more troll than human references in this shit. that whole verse about quadrants was a shoutout to trolls."  
"BULLSHIT.  
"SHUT UP K4RKL3S. 1 TH1NK 1T'S 4M4Z1NG"  
"I Agree, It Is Pretty Impressive."  
"thanks guys, except karkat. fuck you. so now all of us know what I do in my free time can we agree to stop going through my files?"  
"1 GU3SS."  
"FINE."

There is about a 20 second pause before another voice is heard. It doesn't have the weird accent the other 3 voices had.

"Maybe your dream of rapping with Obama will come true, once Earth isn't destroyed of course."  
"i tried to whip up something mediocre enough to impress terezi and piss off karkat."  
"It's exactly what I would expect from a 15 year old Strider stuck on a meteor with a couple of aliens."  
"living up to the family name I guess"  
"You always do."

The audio cuts off there.

Did he make that song just to make people stop going through his files? You sit there, feeling kinda shitty for doing exactly what he doesn't want you to do. You close down your computer and look around, everything's a mess. Maybe you should clean. You honestly can't remember the last time you did the laundry. Being a proper guardian is tough.

You decide to wander around and throw the dirty clothes in a hamper. After that you collect the gross half eaten boxes of pizza and Chinese food and throw those away. The various, nearly empty, bottles of beer smell like wet bread and a few of them are growing something that looks alot like mold. Cringing you throw all of those into a plastic bag, not wanting to bother with spoiled alcohol.

You take the bags of trash down to the dumpster, throwing them away in the alleyway. A black and tan cat walks up and rubs against your leg, meowing softly. You've seen this particular feline quite frequently in the last few weeks. You crouch and scratch behind its ears. When it looks up you realize one of its eyes is missing, but it looks like it was born that way. You look for some sort of collar but can't find any form of identification. You decide if you see it again you'll take it in and walk back to the apartment.

When you get back to the living room and look at the hamper full of clothes you realize dave's room is still a mess. Maybe you should get some food before you wake him up. Pulling out your phone you order a pizza, hoping food will make him less pissed when you make him clean. Once the food is on the way you turn on the tv to watch something during the wait.

The news says a rainstorm is going to come soon, which kinda ruins your plans of going to the laundromat. You'll probably do it anyways, just because you won't do it any other day. In the middle of your thinking there is a knock on the front door. You stand and answer it, finding a slightly wet pizza boy on the other side. Maybe it already started raining. You pay and give him a tip before putting the box on the table.

Next, you address the problem of a sleeping Dave. It's not that early anymore so you feel alittle less bad about waking him up, still it's kinda a douche move. You waltz into his room, stand next to his sleeping form and pull the blanket off of him. He groans and rolls over, not opening his eyes.

"Go away bro it's early." He groans.

"It's not even that early, it's like 2 in the afternoon." You walk over to the window and open the blinds. You were expecting sunlight but you get an overcast sky. Well, at least you tried.

"I'm well aware of the time, it's still too early." He complains, draping a hand over his face.

"You haven't even opened your eyes, how do you know the time?" You ask, staring at the looming clouds out of the window.

"It's 2:17 PM and if you don't let me sleep I'm going to lose my shit." You look over at the clock, that's the exact time. That gets alittle freaky sometimes.

"Go to the bathroom before you do that." You say sarcastically, smirk evident in your voice.

"I hate you." He sits up and glares, "you're such an ass. Why did you wake me up?"

"I bought pizza, and we're going out." You tell him as he yawns dramatically.

"Fine, where are we going?" He grumbles.

"To the laundromat!" You announce like it's a big deal, adding a hand movement to heighten the effect. He looks unamused. "So get ready and gather up your clothes." You leave the room to eat some pizza, hearing Dave stumble out of bed and into the bathroom. The shower turns on and you look at the tv, noting the flash flood warning. You really should rethink your game plan. Maybe you can finish everything before the storm comes.

The shower shuts off and dave goes back into his room. He stays in there for a few minutes, moving around and gathering things. When he comes out into the living room he sets the basket full of his clothes next to your hamper and grabs some food. Sitting next to you he eats while watching the tv.

"Why are we doing the laundry if it's raining?" He asks skeptically when another flash flood warning pops up.

"Don't question me." You honestly do not understand your reasoning either. Once his hair is somewhat dry you turn off the tv and grab a jacket. You find the laundry detergent and fabric softener before staring at Dave, waiting for him to get ready.

"Bro it's literally pouring out. This is such a stupid idea." He flops down on the futon, not showing any indication of moving.

"Put on a jacket lil man." You prompt.

"If something stupid happens I told you so." He stands and retrieves a sweatshirt and raincoat from his room. Each of you grab your hampers full of clothes and make your way down the stairs. You load the clothes into the back before sitting in the front where Dave is waiting.

You can see he's actually somewhat nervous, maybe you shouldn't have been so forceful. Is he freaked out by the weather? You hadn't thought about that. Jesus, you need to be more aware of what you're actually doing.

"Are you okay?" You ask when one of his pale hands grab your jacket sleeve. He nods and exhales. "Do you want to go back? We can do this tomorrow."

"Let's just go, get it over with." You nod and start the car. The sounds of rain and wind fill the space as you get onto the main road. The sky is grey and large drops of rain fall onto the car and surrounding road. Thunder booms from overhead and flashes of lightning are seen in the distance. The drive to the laundromat is short and soon you're parked out front.

"Do you think there are going to be people there?" Dave asks as you unbuckle your seatbelt. You hadn't thought about that. Looking inside the building you see an old lady folding things but that's it.

"It looks pretty empty right now." You comment and gauge his reaction. After some staring he nods so you open the car door. Both of you grab the items and sprint into the building. Inside, you walk to the machines farthest from the lady. You waste no time and dump your and daves clothes into a washer. Separating clothes isn't something you can bring yourself to do. It's an unnecessary step. Next, you add detergent and provide the amount of change needed. Once the cycle has started you sit on a nearby chair with Dave right next to you.

You watch him scroll through his phone, slouched in the chair, subtly leaning on you. He gets texts every few minutes, all of which he answers immediately. You see him talking to someone with orange text named Dirk but completely disregard it. You don't really want to think about what that implies. The concept of two daves is enough for you.

The old lady finished her laundry and drove off in her white bmw. It's just the two of you in the bright laundromat while rain pours outside. Your washer clings repetitively as the clothes spin in the soapy water. Thirty minutes later the washer comes to a stop and buzzes loudly. You stand and move the clothes from the washer to dryer. Like before you add fabric softener and then pay the machine to start the drying cycle. That starts and you sit down again. Another forty five minutes pass until the dryer buzzes.

"Get up lil' man, we're gonna fold this shit."

"Is this why you brought me? Manual labor?" He sighs and pockets his phone. The two of you go to work folding the various articles of clothing and putting them back into the baskets.

You come across his god tier shirt and can't stop yourself from examining it. You're looking at the bright red gear when Dave clears his throat.

"What are you staring at?" He asks, obviously uncertain.

"I was just looking at the little symbol. It's part of the fabric but not printed on it or anything. It's interesting." You answer, looking at the inside of the shirt to inspect it further.

"That's my aspect." You turn to him so he continues. "The gear symbolizes the time aspect."

You hum slightly and nod, folding the shirt and putting it on top of his cape. You get back to business, folding the numerous black pants and white polos you own. Honestly you should probably get some other clothes sometime. Dave's wardrobe is much more diverse, stupid t-shirts with odd designs being the main theme. You're not too sure where he got half of them, maybe his friends are sending them. He does have that weird red microwave looking thing that apparently sends shit interdimensionally.

Once the last pair of pants have been folded you gather your things and hurry back into the car. Water is starting to fill the street as you quickly drive home. Outside of the apartment you see the cat from earlier. It dripping wet and yowling loudly. You pick up the freezing feline and walk up to the apartment with Dave staring at you like you grew two heads. Once in the apartment you dry off the cat with a newly washed towel and set it free in its new residence.

"Bro why did you take that cat?" You look over at him as he watches the cat inspect the room.

"It's our cat now." His head snaps back to look at you, he looks even more confused than before.

"You can't just take a cat! It probably has a family!" He tries to reason, you don't see why this is a big deal.

"Yes I can, I can do whatever the fuck I want. Besides, this lil' guy is always outside when I get home from work. I think it's stray." You pick it up and shove it into his arms. "Look at it Dave, look at it's face. Do you want that face to go freeze in the alley?"

"No…" He smiles and hugs the animal, producing a small meow from it. After that he doesn't set it down, he carries it wherever he goes. Oddly, it doesn't seem to care in the slightest. You spend the rest of the day watching horror movies with him and the cat he affectionately named The Mayor.


	10. Memory

Holy crap! An update!  
Trigger warnings; panic attack, strong language.  
This is unedited, please review!

* * *

You wake up confused, incredibly confused and disoriented. Sitting up you find yourself on a roof. It's night and honestly you don't understand how you got here. The last thing you remember is… your dream? Was that a dream? You recall sitting in the common area, sandwiched between Kanaya, Rose and Karkat on the couch. You were watching a shitty romantic comedy until Terezi showed up. So how did you get from there to here?

You stay in one spot, trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. Looking around you see you're in a bright city, therefore you're back in Texas, right? You don't know how you got on Earth in the first place. If you're in Texas that means Bro should be here, right? That or you're alone. For some reason that thought makes much more sense. You listen to the rush of cars, honking and sirens in the background. There is a soft breeze against your skin and it's incredibly unnerving. You're so fucking confused, you have no idea where you are.

Standing on shaky legs you stagger down to what you assume will be the apartment. You apprehensively open the front door and look around. The lights are off, room quiet and still. Inspecting your surroundings you see things that weren't here before. There's food in the kitchen, traps aren't lying about, it's even somewhat clean. For an unknown reason you're very scared. Walking further into the living room you decide to call out, "Bro, are you here?"

You wait a few seconds but there's no response. What were you expecting? You search the room, finding no trace of your brother. No shoes, no keys, no jacket. You're starting to get really confused. Is he not here? Will you be alone this whole time? Is this a dream? You can't remember!

Then something catches your eye, a cat. You don't remember ever having a cat. Looking at it makes you recall rain and laundry, but that doesn't make any sense. None of this does. Your mind is so jumbled and panicked right now. You walk to your room, sitting on the bed covered in blankets, pillows and clothes. It's familiar.

You sit and think, you really try to figure out what's actually happening to you. Your first thought is a dream bubble. But dream bubbles feel nothing like this, and there is way too much realistic unpredictable detail for you to be asleep. So maybe you fucked up and accidentally created an alternate timeline? No, you'd know if you did that, I'd be obvious. You're missing a few months of this timeline though, so you really can't say for sure. When did you actually get here? You've never been this confused about a sequence of events before. Did the game suddenly stop?

Your situation is so out of control that you can't help but start crying. This is what you were scared of. Being all alone in Texas, without Bro and without assistance. You knew hoping he would come back was dumb. Of course something like that wouldn't happen. This is so fucked up, you're fucked up. You know you shouldn't be reacting like this, you should keep going like a proper Strider but you can't. You don't think you can do this. You don't think you can pretend anymore.

You cry brokenly into your hands, hardly able to draw in a breath. You're hyperventilating and it's causing your chest and lungs to ache, head pounding. Your internal stopwatch keeps ticking away, making your ears ring. Honestly you're starting to get lightheaded, vision blurring around the edges- you just can't think. You can't think about anything but it's still overwhelming, you're terrified.

You keep thinking about one thing, the same thought over and over. Again and again until you can't focus on anything else. You're alone. You're completely and utterly alone in a big city, you don't know if you can contact your friends, you don't know if your friends are alive, you don't know anything anymore. All you know is that you're alone and you can't handle it. You went through all that pain and suffering for this? That just isn't fair!

Your breathing has gotten to the point where you can't get any air. You choke on each gasp, adding to your already extreme distress. You're so scared, you're panicking so much that nausea bubbles into your throat. The cat is meowing, you feel it's warm body on your side, trying to get your attention, but you ignore it. For a long time you just sit on your bed and sob, devastated. You can't see, you can't hear and you're about to pass out.

Then you hear the front door open. You flinch before whimpering. What the fuck? What the actual fuck? Who is that? Should you attack them? Run and try to hide? What good would that do? You hiccup, scooting to the wall to cover your face as you cry and shake. Someone walks in and pulls you into a hug. You peek up at the figure embracing you and almost lose it.

Bro is here, he's alive. Holy shit, he's alive. With this thought you finally take in a huge gasp of air and attempt to hug back with stiff moments. You tremble in his arms, so fucking uncomfortable and confused. You close your eyes again, resting against him and suddenly everything snaps back into place.

You just forgot a good portion of reality. You knew a good amount of time had passed but you couldn't recall any of the events. It was like you were back in the game. It really felt like you were recently on the meteor and now that you fully realize what's going on a bunch of feelings are rushing back 10 fold. You've never had a lapse in time like this but now it's really fucking you up. All of your fear and guilt. Your piles of regret and reminders of how utterly stupid you are. It's all flooding in and you're incredibly nauseous. Overwhelmed and unable to focus on anything but these horrible feelings and memories.

You're hardly processing your surroundings anymore, or how loud and broken your sobbing actually is. Bro is holding you tightly, helping you still your waves of tremors. You're a mess, sitting on your bed, curled into his chest, thinking about the death and carnage of the previous 3 years. You're weeping while you attempt to calm down. You keep remembering all your past fuck ups, all the horribly careless mistakes you made. God, there are so many.

You think about the all the broken timelines shoved into your brain from the doomed Daves. The final battles, the times you had to watch your friends and family perish one after another. Fighting alongside Bro as Davesprite and how you couldn't help or save him. You felt so useless and insignificant that day, both as you and Davesprite. All the blood, all the death, the revivals until everything was a done deal. Everyone fought so hard, you tried _so_ fucking hard to protect them. In the end you still failed, you failed miserably and it doesn't surprise you at all.

Your multiple attempts to calm down are futile so you officially shatter, any semblance of control you had now gone, diminished to feeling like you're going to pass out and vomit at the same time. Suddenly something catches in your throat and you weakly you push bro away to retch before gagging. Your stiff body makes you immobile so you can't make it much farther than not on either of you when you throw up, nauseous, shaking, choking and far too hot. You hear him sigh lightly, continuing to run a hand across your back. You cover your face, let out a few sobs and whine pitifully.

"It's okay, you're okay, try to breathe lil' man." Bro whispers to you softly. You shift to grab his arm, trying to ground yourself to something real. After a few seconds you shut your eyes and try to even out your breathing, only succeeding slightly. At least you can pull in and push out small puffs of air. Not nearly enough but you're trying, you really are.

"There you go, good job, keep breathing. Everything is okay now. You don't have to protect anyone anymore." Bro is so nice and understanding now, he always tries to help you in any way he can. You freak out over the smallest things, you can't keep yourself calm for more than a day. Which is honestly pathetic. But as you hear him hum to you softly, rubbing your back and telling you that everything is okay you cling to the words, the sounds, his hand on your too warm back.

"You're alive." You force out, grabbing the back of his shirt when you move to hug again. He smells like sweat and cigarettes but you can't bring yourself to care in the slightest. All you care about is the fact that he's here, not dead at all.

"I'm alive." He whispers into your hair, breath brushing against stray golden locks. You're getting tears, sweat and snot on his shirt but it seems like he doesn't mind.

"You're alive." You sob, completely unraveling. You can finally talk and you're relieved, but you can only mutter one phrase. "You're alive."

"I'm right here, I'm alive." He assures, running his fingers down your spine lightly.

"Please don't leave me." You keep crying, but progressively calming down. You can finally think, and that's helping you gain lost control. Still, you're terrified he's just going to vanish. That this is just a sick joke, a dream, a trick. "Please stay."

"I won't leave you Dave. I'll always be here." He's being sincere, completely genuine and it helps so much. You're calming down, breathing alittle more evenly, your shaking has tuned down to small tremors here and there. You relax into his arms, not nearly as stiff and uncomfortably rigid.

Slowly but surely you stop panicking, you aren't so confused anymore. Your thinking is back to normal, you know where you are, you understand what's going on. And while you're still breathing unevenly you deflate onto Bro, letting him hold you close as you try to calm down all the way. Minutes pass, Bro's light humming and your soft breathing the only sound in the room. Against your will you go entirely limp, closing your eyes to doze off shortly after.

* * *

Dave falls asleep against your chest and you sigh, that was painful for both of you. He was sobbing so loud, at a volume you're sure all the neighbors could hear. It was incredibly hard to get through to him, even the cat was getting absolutely nowhere. The most you could do was hold and try to comfort him. You kept attempting to talk but you don't think he could hear so you switched to light humming. That's why you were so relieved when he started calming down. You were getting really worried, the situation was out of control.

Once you know he's completely asleep you shift to gather him into your arms. You carefully lift and carry him into your room where you place him in your bed. After covering him you kiss his forehead lightly. As much as you want to stay to make sure he's okay you need to clean his room. Poor kid got so anxious, you can't imagine getting to the point where you throw up from fear. Honestly it breaks your heart.

You grab the spoiled blanket and throw it in the tub. You're not about to go to the laundromat so you run hot water and start washing the orange fabric. After a few minutes of cleaning, draining and refilling the tub repeatedly you think it's good enough. You ring out the sopping blanket and hang it over the shower pole to dry. You would have never even thought about doing this before the game, you would have told him to deal with it himself. But none of this is his fault, he can't stop this from happening. Being so out of sorts must be really hard on him.

Happy that's over you quickly scrub your hands and go back to your room. Standing in the doorway you look at Dave's sleeping form. He's breathing evenly, curled up and tucked in your bed. He looks calm, peaceful, and you let out a relieved breath. This is so much better than him sobbing his heart out. Walking to your dresser you take off your shades and hat before peeling off your gloves. You throw your jacket on a nearby chair and kick off your shoes haphazardly. After getting other clothes something to sleep in you change and get ready for bed in the bathroom.

When you return you sit on the bed, yawning openly, rubbing your eyes and rolling your shoulders. You went right to Dave once you got home. You didn't even have time to take off your outerwear until he fell asleep. You absently rub his back, lulling you from the anxiety of the past hour or so. Honestly you're exhausted, you're nodding off already. As hard as you try to stay up to make sure he's alright you can't seem to keep your eyes open. You honestly can't stay up anymore so you lay down on the other side of the bed and fall asleep instantly.

* * *

When you wake up to birds chirping outside of your window you're hardly surprised to see Dave still unconscious. It's 1 pm, much later than you wanted to stay asleep. Almost half of the day is gone, but you honestly don't have anything planned. Sitting up you look at him, you're relieved he didn't wake up last night. He needs all the rest he can get. Constant nightmares makes his sleeping schedule pretty fucked up.

With that in mind you decide to make the room as dark as possible. You stand up and stretch, staring at the sunlight filtering through the open window. You walk over and shut it, closing the blinds after. Once you gather up some clothes you leave your room to start your day.

In the bathroom you take down Dave's blanket and throw it on his bed. After that's situated you turn on the water to shower. You slowly wake up, standing under the hot water. Your mind wanders to yesterday, how you failed as a brother and guardian. You let him panic for who knows how long before you got around to helping him. That makes you feel like utter shit. You continue thinking until you know you need to get out of the water. A good while later you get dressed, styling your hair once it's dry. Finally, you slip on your shades, gloves, and hat before leaving for the kitchen.

Even though it's afternoon you start a pot of coffee out of habit. You look through the fridge until you find something you deem as edible, at least you hope so. Heating up the leftovers you stare at the cracks and stains covering the walls of the apartment. This place is so shitty. Right before the microwave dings you open it and remove the food. After getting yourself a cup of coffee you sit down on the futon and turn on the TV to start browsing until you find something entertaining.

Relaxing into the couch you absently watch whatever horrible show is on. You stay still and in one place, for some reason you can spend long periods of time doing absolutely nothing. Maybe it's from the years in a boring, desolate, dream bubble. At least now you can tell yourself you're watching TV when you stare blankly at the screen.

It's almost 3 pm when Dave wanders out into the livingroom. He gets a glass of apple juice before sitting next to you, nesting into the futon with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He doesn't say anything, but you haven't tried to talk either. For awhile you just sit next to each other. Dave staring at the ground as you stare at him, waiting to see how the situation will progress. Another few minutes of silence pass until you decide to start up a conversation.

"Do you want to talk about last night?" You ask lightly. To your surprise he nods, you usually have to force explanations out of him. He's quiet for a few minutes, probably thinking about the proper thing to say. He's careful with his words anymore, like if he says the wrong thing something terrible will happen. He takes a deep breath and sighs.

"Okay," he pauses for a few more seconds, "So… I woke up on the roof after I had a dream about being with my friends on the meteor. I guess I fell asleep up there or something. Anyways, when I looked around I realized I didn't really know where I was or how I got there. I knew I was in Texas, and I knew I was on Earth. But other than that it was like I forgot everything. I forgot we won, I forgot you were alive and I didn't know if my friends were dead, on Earth or up in Paradox Space without me. I somehow convinced myself that I made a really fucked alternate timeline, even though I know that's not how it works. I don't understand how shit like this can happen, especially to someone like me. Losing part of a timeline, that's never, it's just- It was horrible, disorienting, terrifying. I never want to go through that again."

The main gist you got from that tangent is he woke up not remembering ever being back on Earth. More importantly he thought he was alone, that you were dead. That entire panic attack is what would've happened if you weren't revived. That whole situation sounds terrible, no wonder he was so anxious and scared. The way he rationalized the situation was so sad. To him everything was either it was a dream or a doomed timeline.

"That sounds really fucking shitty lil' man." You exhale, wanting to somehow go back and prevent this whole situation. Instead you remind yourself to focus on the present, you can't change what you did in the past but you can control how you make things better. "I'm so sorry you had to deal with that alone. How long were you awake before I came home?"

"1 hour and 13 minutes 42 seconds."

"Damn, i'm sorry you had such a hard night. Wish I could have been there for you, done more." You're so guilty, so damn guilty that it's obvious.

"It's fine, if it wasn't for you I don't think I would have been able to calm down. By the time you came back I was close to passing out. I'm happy now, I feel good so don't worry about it."

That honestly makes you feel alittle better. You felt like shit for a good portion of last night and today because you weren't there to help him. You felt like a failure, a horrible brother. But now seeing he's not upset lifts a weight off your shoulders. You look at the TV, actually watching the show this time. Dave types on his phone quickly, laughing every now and again. Minutes pass while everything becomes calm and relaxing. The atmosphere lightens, you let out a deep breath and smile. With yesterday's events behind you everything falls back into the uneventful daily routine.


	11. Dream

Omg thanks for all the reviews it made me unreasonably happy!  
Trigger warnings; death, blood and strong language.  
This is unedited, please review!

* * *

You're in The Land of Heat and Clockwork, running around and killing imps. You've done this countless times, trying to distract yourself from everything. It's going well, the situation is under control and things are pretty normal. That is until an ogre comes into your line of sight. Another shows up, and then another. Followed by these ogres is a group of numerous underlings.

God damn it.

You need to get away, preferably now. You look around to find yourself surrounded by bright red and bubbling lava. The horde is approaching quickly, blocking your only escape route. You won't be able to get passed them, but you have to try. You will not lay down and surrender. With the half-sword equipped you try to abscond.

Of course, the moment you attempt to get anywhere the group swarms you. The words ' _can't abscond bro'_ ring in your head and you straighten up. You fight, you kill imp after imp, salamander after salamander until you're gasping for breath and covered in your own blood. You're almost safe, you've almost killed them all when you suddenly lose balance. You look and see a grinning imp pushed you. Before you can regain your footing you slip, falling into the lava.

What a stupid way to die.

* * *

Jade's planet is covered in snow, something you've never experienced before. The first time you saw it you were amazed, it wasn't anything like what you expected. The cold is such a nice change from overwhelming heat. There aren't any gears here, no bright red in sight, no loud clanging of metal and it's a breath of fresh air. You spent the first day running around with her, throwing snowballs at eachother and building shitty snowmen. You were having so much fun, and the fun hasn't stopped throughout the week.

You love looking around, exploring the land and searching for frogs. You've never hung out with someone like this, it makes you feel human. But today you ended up separating, deciding to go on different sides of the island to search for rare frogs. You were hesitant but Jade told you that everything would be fine. You try to keep her optimism as you look under logs and bushes. You push through some frozen foliage when a flash of movement catches your eye. You look that way and your heart stops.

Why does that agent have a gun?

Your first instinct is to run, run and take shelter. You don't think they've noticed you yet, and you try to use that to your advantage. You slowly turn around, moving back into the cover of the trees when you hear the cocking of a gun. You start to run but there's a throbbing pain that you hardly process. Looking down you see a hole in your chest. When you hear a barrage of bullets you feel the same burning pain over and over. Bright red pools on pure white snow and you feel yourself losing consciousness. Right before you fall face first you hear a mortified female scream.

Terrible timing.

* * *

Someone or something is following you, you're not too sure who or what. There's not many places to hide on your planet, everything is in plain sight. That is unless you were to climb in the metal structures, which sounds nearly impossible and stupidly dangerous. The chances of falling into the magma would be high. But somehow you know you're not alone, even though you've searched everywhere multiple times. You can sense it, it's making your hair stand up straight as you sit in your room.

You're anxious, incredibly on edge as you stare out the window and wait for something to happen. You know whoever's there isn't a friend, therefore it's an enemy. An enemy, a threat that needs to be taken care of. As you sit in wait you hear a clang outside your window, you hold your breath until a derse agent in a ripped outfit appears in your room. Before you can move, react, do anything they jump on top of you. A knife is pressed to your throat and you're gone seconds later.

How embarrassing.

* * *

You told Jade not to try to find her Denizen. You knew it wouldn't work out well. It was too early, we didn't have enough information or knowledge. There was no reason to go out and act prematurely. She didn't listen. She called you a worry wart and said everything would be fine. You haven't heard from her in 6 months.

You told John not to try and find Jade. You told him it was a stupid idea, that she was gone and there was nothing we could do to change that. He responded saying he was God Tier and he'd be fine, that he had to try. It's been three months and you haven't heard from him.

When John never came back you and Rose started to worry. You tried telling yourself that you could figure this out, you could make it work. You tried to convince Rose that everything would be fine, with your combined efforts you could mend the broken timeline. You tried to maintain hope.

Rose stopped answering your messages.

You honestly couldn't believe it, somehow everyone got themselves killed. Everyone in your session died and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. They're dead because you couldn't do more, you couldn't talk them out of making rash decisions. You couldn't stop them from hurting themselves. You failed.

So you're sitting on the grated metal floor, watching lava slowly move and swirl. You have no idea what to do anymore. Go back and tell yourself not to let this happen? What good has that done before? Every time you tell yourself about something that happened another even dumber event falls into place. It's a never ending cycle that you're sick of.

You sigh, take a deep breath and pull out your turntables.  
Time to try again

* * *

You're slowly strolling through the tombs, looking for nothing in particular. You figure if you explore long enough you'll come across something useful. So you're wandering aimlessly, looting whatever random useless artifact you find. Everything is going smooth until you come across a dead consort, then a prospitian followed by a dersite. This continues, bodies of game components lying about as you travel deeper into the dark tunnels.

The inscripted grey stone walls are stained with red and you're starting to think you should turn around. You're basically walking straight into a trap, and that's stupid. You were trained better than this. Right before you can move to leave you see the offender. The moment you realize it's Jack you know this is bad. This really should not be a thing. You retrieve the half-sword quickly, him pulling the katana out of his chest.

You hold your own, you fight him with every little trick and skill you can muster. For awhile you think you're winning, but quickly realize this was a bad idea. A very, very bad idea. You're getting tired, short of breath and exhausted while he's still going strong. You're losing and you can't let that happen. You try to pull out your turntables and go back but before you can access your Strife Deck you see a sword coming towards your chest. This is followed by a searing pain and you lose consciousness.

Idiot.

* * *

You wake up with a small gasp, sitting up in bed. With shaky movements you feel your neck, then your chest, only to find you're totally uninjured. You let out a small sigh of relief and bury your face in your hands. You're so use to doomed timelines, it hardly bothers anymore. Still, reliving all that pain is taxing.

You grab a blanket and go to the kitchen to get a glass of water. When you enter the livingroom you see Bro sleeping on the futon. Why is he out here? It's too early for him to be home from work. Maybe he got off early and passed out before he could go to bed. You put the blanket that was over your shoulders on him and move to the cabinets. After getting water from the sink you walk back to your room, closing the door softly.

You don't exactly want to rest yet, you're not ready for that. Even though these dreams don't affect you very much they're not a very fun experience. So you grab another fluffy blanket off your bed and wrap it around yourself. Shuffling to the desk you sit in the office chair and roll over to rest your arms on the windowsill.

Sighing lightly you watch the street. You've started to identify some vehicles and people that show up regularly. A blue truck you always see comes speeding by at 11:47 pm, followed by the police blaring their sirens. You watch cars dart passed, someone running a red light and nearly hitting a jaywalking pedestrian. You wish people were more careful, they don't seem to care about anyone other than themselves.

Your phone buzzes on the bed, bringing you out of your trance. You scoot over to look for it but can't see it anywhere. It's probably buried under pillows and clothes. You search the covers, disturbing a sleeping Mayor while doing so. Eventually you locate it and look at the screen. Dirk messaged you, you've been wanting to talk to him. It's been awhile, too long. Quickly, you open the chat.

TT: Hey you awake?  
TG: sup  
TT: Do you dream about the doomed Daves?  
TG: yeah dude all the fucking time  
TG: honestly i just woke up  
TT: What happens?  
TG: i die over and over  
TG: thats about it  
TG: why do you ask  
TT: I keep having these weird ass dreams about my splinters.  
TT: I doubt it's like doomed timelines but it's fucking me up.  
TT: It's just me, all of my horrible unbelievably shitty qualities shoved into my head to taunt me every single time I try to rest.  
TT: I thought I was done being harassed by myself, with AR gone I could finally think.  
TT: But no.  
TT: Me being able to think will never happen.  
TT: I can't sleep anymore because my dreams are a bigger pile of bullshit than my life.  
TT: I'm exhausted.  
TG: damn  
TG: that sucks balls  
TG: but its like you said those are only your negative qualities  
TG: and those make up a very small portion of who you are  
TG: imo  
TG: your mind is playing some fucked up games  
TG: its making you focus on the shit all versions of yourself hate  
TG: so its like amplified or something  
TG: and that blows  
TG: im sorry man  
TT: At at least you don't think I'm a major piece of shit.  
TT: Leave it to the Striders to overlook obvious faults.  
TT: But there's a reason I brought this up, I wasn't going to dump my feelings and run.  
TT: In my dream I heard Cal. But as we both know my version of Cal was empty.  
TT: Are you picking up what I'm putting down  
TG: fuck  
TG: i dont like what youre implying  
TG: what do you mean "heard cal"  
TG: do you mean that creepy fucking laugh  
TT: Yeah, the insane laughter. It was loud, and I'm talking you can hear anything else loud.  
TT: You really can't think if Lord English is up in your brain.  
TT: You know all the weird subliminal crocker batterwitch shit?  
TT: In the background you can hear some sort of talking that felt very similar to forced thoughts and ideology.  
TG: that makes me very uneasy  
TG: do you think thats what my bro heard  
TT: That's the conclusion I'm coming to.  
TT: But keep in mind what he did is still incredibly fucked up.  
TG: yeah i know  
TG: but it explains alot  
TG: thanks for telling me  
TT: No problem, I'm going to shower. Talk to you soon.

You lock your phone and put it the pocket of your sweatpants. That conversation gave you alot to think about, to ponder until you can eventually fall asleep. You move your hand, absently running your fingers across the tan concrete. Humming lightly, you rest a cheek on your arm as you inspect your surroundings. Some people run down the sidewalk like their life depends on it, other people stroll slowly with nowhere to go. It makes you really sad when homeless people wander onto your street. You wish you could do something to help them.

You spot a group of drunken college students passing at 1 am, you watch them almost every night. You don't know how they can get so intoxicated so often. Sometimes you think they notice you, but that's probably just you seeking attention. Tonight one of them is being carried, obviously way too drunk to walk. They're all chatting until one of them unexpectedly falls flat on their face. He starts bleeding from his nose and you have to look away. You hate blood, you hate it so fucking much.

You try to push that to the back of your mind and go back to watching curiously. Everyone fumbles around, laughing at and mocking his misfortune. He sits on the ground, using his shirt to stop the bleeding. They all look so happy, for some reason it makes you happy too. You smirk lightly, tracking their movements and tapping against the metal window frame. As the group starts to leave you see one of the girls stop and look up at you. She smiles brightly before waving. You jump, stare and wave back awkwardly.

Now that they're gone you look up at the smoggy sky. Every night the darkness is different. Sometimes you can see bright and shining stars, even planets. That's when you look for constellations, searching for the trolls. Unfortunately the only thing you see tonight is the bright moon surrounded by fog. Still, it's a better view than The Veil and surrounding meteors.

You're not exactly paying attention when a small crow flies up and perches on one of your arms. You smile and sit back, letting it rest on the edge of the window. With slow movements you shift and bring your hand to pet it softly. The moment your fingers touch its feathers it fluffs up and caws loudly. You twitch before shushing it softly.

"Quiet," you whisper, copying its caw only much softer. This time when you stroke its feathers it coos lightly. You coo back, sounding almost the same as the bird. You're pretty good when it comes to imitating bird calls. It comes to you naturally and the little crows always respond in turn. You think they understand, you hope or you're just stupidly chirping at birds.

You stroke and pet its shiny black feathers, rubbing under its neck and face with the softest of touches. You keep this up for nearly 5 minutes with a silly grin until it suddenly hops on your lap, moving to your arm and then shoulder. It runs its face on yours, a soft warbling coo leaving it constantly. You giggle and smile happily as it continues to fluff up and nest into you.

You begin to realize it's falling asleep and don't know what to do. You can't kick it out, this is super cool. Crows only talk to you on the roof, they never come to your room anymore. You carefully roll over to your desk, using your arms as a pillow. Slowly you start to doze off, and when The Mayor climbs into your lap the soft purring of her body lulls you further. You fall asleep, hoping to dream of nothing.

* * *

You wake up to the buzzing of your phone right next to your face. You huff before groaning, you have one hell of a hangover. You blindly grab the device and blearily look at the screen. You got a Pesterchum message? You never use Pesterchum. Curious, you open the chat and before you can type they start up a steady stream of text.

TT: Hey there, I'm Dirk.  
TT: Knowing Dave he hasn't exactly told you who I am. He probably doesn't want to, "complicate you with game bullshit."  
TT: I'm you in an alternate timeline called the Alphaverse, I played the game with Dave, I'm his brother.  
TT: I'm here to say one thing.  
TT: You're probably telling yourself that this is a new chapter, that without Cal everything is chill. But Lord English no longer influencing you doesn't make up for what you did. Just because Dave forgives you doesn't mean everything's okay.  
TT: He's scared, he's terrified that you're going to "snap out of it" and hurt him. While you think Cal is no longer an issue he still has a place in Dave's heart and mind.  
TT: Think about that.

Holy fucking shit.

That was like a horrible, creepy peek into your own mind. This is weird, very weird and it's making you nervous. Despite your uncertainty you can admit he made alot of good points. Reminding you of things you've been avoiding, all the really heavy shit you've pushed to the back of your mind. You stare at the screen for a long time, re-reading the message. You feel unwanted emotions bubbling to the surface so you lock the phone and lay down to fall back asleep. It's too damn early for this.

* * *

Cal is laughing, that's all you can hear. He's laughing and laughing, like he heard the most hilarious thing. It's so loud. It's like he talks to you, you can make out small nonsensical phrases between the chuckling, the hysterical giggling that won't stop. It haunts you. It makes you feel crazy, like you're going insane. No matter what you do you can't escape his eyes, his grin. He knows, he knows everything and just keeps laughing, you don't think he'll ever truly stop.

Why won't he shut the fuck up?

 **HAA HAA HEE HEE HOO HOO**


End file.
